Is it a good idea to start this relationship?

Hi,
Those relations will sooner or later reach a bad point... They have very low chances to succeed.  Sooner than later his drinking habbits will effect you.... Let's be realistic and admit it: you won't be able to resist it and you'll join him..... and that is a slope that only God knows where will you end (I bet it's a dirty gutter).  You have to solve your own problems first (both drinking and weed) and than find a man that is not even close to that stuff.  Better realize that you have a "weak point" and you need some continuous "support" from your spouse.
Best regards,    

If you both sought help together for your drinking problem that could be a very good thing that would help to build your relationship up.  Having each other to help through the weak moments when you need someone there is a positive thing.  You would be sharing your struggle, and you would be building your relationship on supporting each other through a very tough time.  I don't see a down side as long as you both quit and both stay sober.  You both will learn a lot about the other's strengths and weaknesses.

I don't know why you fear violent and abusive behavior, but if he is violent or abusive, then get as far away from him as you can, no matter how sober he is. 

In answering your question, I would say, Part of rehab is to stop any addictions.  It sounds as if you are using alcohol and possibly a man in substitue for weed.  It concerns me that you have only been free from smoking weed 2 weeks and are trying to make so many life changing decisions.  You must remember once an addict always an addict.  I do not say that flippantly, but it is the 1st step in admitting we have a problem. 

As for considering a relationship with another addict, who is abusive, that concerns me. 

Is the fact that you live with your mother, you have no place else to go or are you in a rehab program?

You have made progress by not smoking weed.  Give yourself some time. I would promise you, if you are clean of all substance abuse and are feeling good about yourself, you will not be smitten by this man.

Addicts are people to. That's a motto of mine. There are a small percentage of addicts who actually do keep clean-not to say they don't have an occasional relapse, but they are putting effort into it and making recovery the priority in their life.

Now, your drinking isn't going to have a positive effect on this relationship. If you're serious about not drinking, one of the first things you will be told (by a professional) is to wait AT LEAST A YEAR before starting a new 'romantic' relationship. This sounds silly, but is actually very important. It's really so you can concentrate on you and work your way into a lifestyle that you will benefit from for the rest of your life. You can't do this effectively if your having relationship problems, if your partner starts using again, etc. Getting help together? That really depends. Some professionals would say yes, but once again, that wouldn't help the whole staying out of a relationship for a year thing, you know? You are only 21 and have a whole life ahead of you. Remember, with this guy, you'll ALWAYS be worried that he'll relapse and if he does, you then have harder decisions to make. You really may be setting yourself for more than you should have to handle at this point. Take it slow-be friends. Get your own self together and learn how great life can be for you before you go tying yourself down, especially to a potentially dangerous relationship.

Only you can decide for yourself, but I learned the hard way-my son's father is a cocaine addict and alcoholic. I'm not, but living with him proved to be more than I could handle. You need to remember that it takes so much effort for you to keep clean & having to be concerned with someone else's sobriety at this same time will not help you.

Please think about it.

If you have an addictive personality, meaning that you easily get addicted to weed or alcohol or something else, the only solution is usually to become a teetotaler. Such people are usually called "sober alcoholists" because they have an alcoholist personality, but can manage life by avoding all alcohol and narcotic drugs.

The first thing that comes to mind is of course NO! Coz such relationships can go bad anytime due to more than one reasons. And at such times, things become uncontrollable! Your idea of both of your getting rehab help for alcohol is good. However, you’ll need to check if the potential partner is also ready to opt for it? Have you also thought of dual diagnosis treatment programs ? These are programs that help you with drug, alcohol as well as mental illness or any combination of issues. I would personally suggest to get into the relationship only if both of you see each other clean ASAP and commit to be so in the long-run.

please let him be if you cannot stop doing drugs do not get him back into this lifestyle you have it seam that he wants to get better so let him and please get help for yourself

If you wanted to have a relationship with him, you should be able to find a way that your relationship will work.  He has been an addict before and he already get rid of it.  You must get some advise from him on how to fight substance abuse and hopefully minimize your alcohol intake upon your rehabilitation program starts.