How do I stop my lying before it ruins me and my ...

Hi,

Hey,

If you think you may be an undiagnosed compulsive liar there is no need for you to suffer alone. There is nothing to be ashamed of and you could get help that would make your life so much better... Don't hesitate to get help if you think it would make a difference, there is nothing wrong with it. If anything, it will show that you are a strong person who is brave enough to take control over their own life. Good luck to you!

I think you should make an effort to find out why you are lying. Are you attempting to impress or are you trying to hide something? Either way you should think of the consequences because sooner or later the truth will out. It would be best to discuss this with your husband and be very open and ask him to help you. If that doesn't seem possible, discuss this with your best friend whom you trust. My grandfather told me that he did not lie because he had a poor memory so if he had to repeat he might not have the same excuse.

Get a divorce

Hello Andymca - this is ddreiske2's wife. I think your response to my husband's reaching out for help was uncalled for, unnecessary, innapropriate, and really makes you look like an asshole. What are you, an authority on everything? Lying, licenses, and how to seduce women? Get your psychology degree before spewing answers like that, or get off this site where people are going for HELP. Help includes support, feedback, and general discussion, not "get a divorce". I'm proud of my husband for going online and at least trying to get help to fix his problem, and I'm standing by him. It's for better of for worse, and if we have this worse to overcome, then so be it. I'm wagering you don't even have a wife, so in my opinion, you should feel free to go fuck yourself.

Hi.  I am a professional psychologist.  Although my specialty is not compulsive lying, I can give you some basic advice.  First, you should be very proud to have a wife that is so loyal and sweet.  And you should be proud of yourself for reaching out to others and trying to get help.

I do believe that you have a strong marriage now but your problem (like any compulsion, such as alcoholism) is hurting your marriage.  You are not alone.  There are many others like you out there.  Since you wrote this question I feel that you genuinely want help.  You should try and find a psychologist near you.  Many psychologists take insurance, so that might help.  Call your local hospital and they may be able to recommend someone, or ask your regular general practitioner (regular doctor).  I strongly strongly suggest a "behaviorist".  This is a kind of psychologist that not only examines why you are lying but also teaches you new techinques to help you stop lying in the future.

I would guess that your lying (as most people) comes from anxiety and fear about normal life situations.  That's totally ok.  Everyone worries.  You just deal with it in a different way.  You need to talk to someone who can help you learn to cope with stress in a way that does not involve lying. 

It will all be ok.  It is WONDERFUL that you are reaching out and talking to people about this!!!  Congrats!!  Now you just have to follow through with the treatment.  Im sure that things will work out, all relationships take work. 

Good luck and take care!

PS you can also check out some online message boards for others just like you!!  http://www.psychforums.com/viewforum.php?f=123&sid=00e3eea17da1a280632da81337431654

I'm not a psychologist or a compulsive lier, but I've had my share of destructive patterns in relationships (not speaking my mind was one of them, which sometime is as bad as lying) I think that the first important thing to do in order to stop is understanding why you are lying - even the most compulsive behavior comes from a reason - are you using lies to get stuff you won't get in other ways? is it that you are afraid you won't be love \ appreciated if you show your true self? Are you unhappy with the person that you are and trying to cover that with a different \ fake personality? there can be many reason and I think that understanding the reason and source of this habit will really help you in stopping it.

There are many different form of therapy \ support group that might help, and as we've all seen, you have a loving supporting wife who's willing to help in getting your problem under control, I think that getting some professional help as well as getting your wife more involved in your recovery process is a good place to start. 

avoid things that would make you lie if you don't love your husband don't say i love you cause you really do not mean it.