I am being honest with myself to save my marriage

I am not sure what your question is but I think you have used this time to come up with some very good insights about yourself. 

I have to tell you that when I read all this and looked back at your previous question, I thought you were middle aged, and i was shocked when i saw that you are both young.  Did you guys meet when your wife was very young?  Perhaps she just still needs to go out and have fun like most 26 year olds.  Try to remember the person she fell in love with.

Good luck

Hi,

     You mentioned about your anger.  Perhaps you need to see a Psychotherapist

for anger management sessions.

the fact that your learning what your faults are is a great start keep working on it im sure your not 100 percent at fault for problems in your marriage she also needs to reflect on hers ive been married 20 years it is hard work but worth it give it all you got if it doesnt work out at least you know you tried your best which is better then ignoring it and doing noyhing good luck

Number 8 seems pretty reasonable.

But the rest?

Really, if someone said they didn't love you, you are of course supposed to feel shocked, angry, not know how to deal with it etc.

As for doing things instead of showing your true feelings that you are upset...that is what most people do when it is a small matter or they do so to go off and think about serious matters.  Do you really think that fighting someone each and everytime, or confronting them that they made you upset is the answer.  Men & women both know enough about when to pick battles.  There is nothing wrong with that.

And yes, it make you look needy if you keep chasing her, like you need to love her.  Nothing wrong with that.  You love someone.  That's alright in anyone's books.

Here is the wrong part:  you are doing your utmost to try and satisfy and get the love of a person who does not love you.

She wants the separation and divorce.  I bet your counsellor is telling you guys both to have "space".  I bet you have your own therapist that is saying to give it space.  Have you ever thought they are saying this not just for her, but for you? 

You sound like a decent guy who is really taking this on the chin.  You need some space.

You need to find a life outside of her.  She's taking advantage of the situation, and she will use anything you do to be disgusted by you.  Why have her as the measuring stick?  What happens if she goes through with everything this time?  You are going to be left alone still pining for someone that doesn't care and that you will not see.  YOU need this SPACE, not her.

I wouldn't bring this up stuff up in counselling except for number 8.  If you felt angry or sad about tried to make those facts of the reality...that is what most people do.  It's a non-issue.  Trying to have a wife reach out to you to show her love...that's normal!

Look, I have no idea what went on in your marriage, but it doesn't sound like you have done anything so egragious that someone can't just talk to you themselves.  Just get out into the outside world, have some fun, and get busy doing something you like.  Move on.  Because from the sounds of it, she has and is planning to.

Why dont you try living like an unmarried couple, with no commitments, no responsibiltiy , basically free individuals livin relation, this should allow you guys to know what exactly you are looking for.

There's a great relationship book out that might help you. The author was in army and became known as someone who could fix relationships—no matter how broken they were. And he got a lot of practice, because the divorce rate in the military is much higher than average. The people who took his advice were so happy and grateful about getting their ex back that they told him that he should write a book. He did and it's called the Magic of Making Up.