Should you return to maiden name after a divorce ...

Is your divorce final? Or are you just beginning the process?

If you are just starting the process, I suggest you request the right to be restored to your former name.

I don't know how it works in your state, but in California (where I live), if you request that your former name be restored; that's what will be in your final Judgment - BUT no one will change it without you taking the necessary steps to do so.

That means that you will have the RIGHT to change it any time you CHOOSE to do so, but no one will ORDER you to change it simply because the court paperwork says your former name is restored.

Hope that makes a tiny bit of sense!

Hi Marcy,

Grandma is absolutely right, you have to request a change. Some women that have small children choose to keep their married name, so that they have the same last name as their children, especially if they are of school age.

Be Blessed

I think returning to your maiden name should be mandatory in divorces initiated by the woman. If you don't want to live with the guy, why would you want to continue wearing his name ? In cases where it was mutual, or the guy asked for the divorce, it would be up to you. In any case, like JKG says, it's up to you to do the actual footwork.

Then I think you should ask for the RIGHT to restore it and you can take steps to restore it whenever YOU are ready.

And to Tyrebitre - I usually enjoy your answers, but I don't agree with your opinion as to the woman being mandated to change her name back if she initiates the divorce.

I initiated my divorce (because my husband had moved out and subsequently had a baby with another woman (whom he later married)) but I did NOT change my name back because a) I had minor children and did not want to go through the idiocy of school forms and so on not recognizing that we all belonged together even though our last names were different and b) I had a significant recognition of my last name on my byline (journalism major with numerous awards, scholarships and an internship) and I didn't want to start over and lose that.

I think the name is the woman's (or man's - some men change their name) to do with as she wants; if she hates it (because she hates the ex) and wants to change it; super. If she hates him, but wants to keep the name; more power to her.

If he doesn't like it, he can pick a brand new name of his own.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I feel rather strongly about this issue.

P.S. Do I still get to keep the toaster?

LOL! Yes, you may keep the toaster (and the burnt kitty crunchies stuck in the heater elements) AND the mixer. And I don't expect you to agree with me all the time: you can be wrong anytime you want to ( ducks, rolls, and hides ).

SMACK! Aaaannd, jkgrandma (aka Ma Kettlesnots) CONNECTS with the rolling pin!