Hi, PLEASE go talk to someone, anyone, even a close friend. Believe me, it helps! You sound like you are really depressed, please go talk to someone. If your panic attacks don't stop, please start trying herbs, such as 5HTP and GABA.. other things you might want to try are st. johns wort and multivitamins to get your mood back up. if the panic attacks dont stop, check out Panic Away .