Two to you skitch. Boss, even if you do not go to counseling with her, it may be helpful to talk to her about letting you tell the counselor how she is doing (how withdrawn she is becoming). As Skitch said, she may need medication to help her through this part. How did she "recall"? Is she going through regression hypnotherapy? They may need to back off and go at a slower pace. It is much to take in and she has to do it in her time. Also, as far as remaining close to her father, if she did not remember it, why wouldn't she? And now, there are so many feelings for her to deal with from shame, guilt, betrayal, etc. and she may end up not being able to be around him when she figures out that she was a child and he (and only he) is to blame for what happened. As far as family knowing, she knows them better than I and so should have a feel for whether they would accept her truth or whether it would rip her family apart with each choosing up sides. It is such a devastating act of betrayal and she is really blessed to have a husband who cares enough to help her through it. Your kindness, patience and understanding will allow her to feel safe with you and know that you will never hurt her the way her dad did...just be her friend first and her counselor will help her with the rest. One final note...If this one is good at uncovering the problem but not really experienced on helping with this problem, look for a person who specializes with this type of abuse as they have a better feel for what she needs. Take care and God Bless.
