My little sister is spiraling downhill. I need to know what my mother and I can do to help her. she is 22 and dating a 21 yr old married man with 3 kids. He is separtated from his wife, and she knows about my sister, however he breaks up with my sister every few weeks to go back to his wife, usually saying he misses his kids. and every time she takes him back. If that isnt bad enough, neither he nor my sister work. they both live with his mom, who barely makes minimum wage. They drink a lot, and smoke, I dont know where they get the money for that. or i didnt untill i found out that my sister has been stealing my grandmothers pain medication. she has probably been selling it. she has also stolen money from my mom. Of course she denies it when she is confronted, then refuses to talk to the person who accused her for quite a while, or until she needs something.... My mother is afraid she is going to dig herself to deep into trouble that she wont be able to get out, so she loans her money never expecting to get it back, has bailed her out of jail, does her laundry, bought her a car, pays her car insurance, and makes sure she knows that she is always welcome to stay there if she needs to. As a result my mom is forced to keep everything of value locked up for fear that my sister will steal it while she is there. my sister is very tender hearted, but puts her boyfriend before her family, even though he is not a good man. She was really a good person before she was with him, worked hard and was trustworthy. not that I blame him, she has always been a follower, someone who would do anything to get someone to love her, very insecure i guess. I havent talked to her since christmas. at christmas her boyfriend broke up with her because he said the holidays made him miss his family. so my sister told me she was sorry for throwing our friendship away, said she had learned from her mistakes and wouldnt let it happen again. I accepted her apology, and never heard from her again. My mother however said they were back together 2 days later and have since broken up 3 or 4 more times since then. I dont know what to do. how do I get her to see what this relationship is doing to her emotionally, not to mention morally? how do i convence her she should break up with him, get a job and her own place, and pursue her life? I know she thinks she loves him, and she has made it very difficult for herself to get a job now with her past being what it is. Im sure she thinks she doesnt have a choice anymore, but he has to try!
