My best friend lost her 19yr old son suddenly and tragicly just as we were becoming friends 2 1/2 yrs ago. I have been a source of support to her (She says the best support-- who knows)
BUT my question is about her son's birthday. It was yesterday and I was not able to visit with her. I will tonight. I was thinking about it and wanted to ask this ... I know all about the circumstances of his death, I know about his wonderful life, but we have not talked about the day he was born.
Sounds dumb I know. But when I hear anyone say "oh today is my child's birthday" I usually ask "oh what was that day like?" You know allow for a person to tell a story that other people usually don't ask about (or even care), I do that because I care about that person and want to know more. Kinda like "where'd you meet, was it love at first sight ..." when you hear that it's somone's anniversary, but if you they are divorsed you probably wouldn't ask.
ANYWAY -- I don't know if that would be good or bad in the case of a dead child. On the one hand I think it might help her focus on somthing good and happy, on the other hand ... I just don't know.
A few years after my mom died I found myself singing "happy birthday " to her, for some reason her birthday was hitting me hard that year, and it just came out though tears but afterwards it helped me remember the good times and how she blessed my life. Am i making any sense? I KNOW I can and should allow her to talk about Paul -- we do alot, but what about asking her about when he was born? thanks Page
