i have been dating my girlfriend for almost 9 months now. I always have this feeling that she is looking else where for another guy. I believe it is my lack of self confidence that these feelings are coming from. Most of the time i dont feel like im good enough for her for a few reasons. I hate feeling like this. She does have alot of guy friends of whom i have met almost all of them. Dont know what to do....help?!?!?
To err is human, forgive devine.
From a womans point of view....a guy who lacks self-confidence might as well put a big sticker on his back that says "undateable". I have alot of guy friends too and I can tell u that I love my guy VERY much! He, too, can get alittle jealous (as us women like to call it) and I have to quickly remind him that if it wasn't him I wanted, I wouldn't be with him. Have u shared these concerns with her? If so and she has done nothing or said anything to help you see its u first then maybe her loyalties are alittle dismayed, and that can be an issue. But if she has told you she loves you and wants you and only you, give her the benefit of the doubt. You can't punish her for your insecruities because that will push her away. hang out with her and her guy friends. Watch the body language and behavior between them (with a biast eye) and see what you come up with. Maybe you're the one whos not ready for a relationship and need some " me help" before you can share yourself with someone else. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from being the next fool who didn't see it coming but you will NEVER have a meaningful relationship with insecruitiy issue....trust me....I have had a problem with it myself. I hope I have helped, even if just alittle.
Be honest and be true to yourself.
Hi,
The fact that she chose you to be her boyfriend over the others should make you self-confident. If you are doubtful, have a heart-to heart talk with her and ask her if she is sure about her love for you or if she is still thinking of exploring more possibilities. It's better for the both of you to be honest with each other now than to be married later just to find out that this is not what she really desires.
She must have seen better qualities in you for her to choose you. Try to be more loving and caring to her. If after your heart-to heart talk, she'll tell you that she still wants to date other men, then try to be understanding. She has the right to find someone compatible with her and who she will be happy with. It's just like shopping in the department store. One usually wants to buy the best item so that it will last longer than to just go inside the store, just pick up the first thing that she wants to buy without checking out the other brands down the isle. Haste makes waste. So give her time to choose who she really thinks will be good for her. If she decides it's you, then just be happy. If you're not the one, then just accept it graciously. There is one good woman for you out there, who will love you and care for you for a long long time. It's not easy to find the right person, but you just have to be patient.
Take care and good luck to you.
if you don't feel you're good enough for her, then you have a problem. women don't care for insecure men, in general. either she is looking elsewhere, or you are terribly paranoid. either way, you're not going to be very happy
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imagine a mind free of weakness and figments of our imagination...imagine a mind free of stress and manipulation...Imagine our full potential when we shread the chains of deitys and gods alike...Only then will we empower our self and Open a new door away from death , decay and wrong doing, Let us unite as one and push forth towards the stars let us make new friends and love different species. why not? cause your still bound by the chains of god.
then again kutebug cheaters say those things before they go over to there guy friends house and fck his brains out behind there partners back. Have you studied any psychology latly? women arnt anything, there not special and they dont think in a particular way. because in the end there human like the majority of there surrounding occupants.
how would you feel if you were lacking self confidence, and no guy would want yah? be careful befor yah hang yah self with your own words i always say lol. Treat people how you would like to be treated regardless of how your feeling or vice versa.
and marriage...well if woman act the way you say they do..being oh so sensative and everything...(NOT) then no wonder we havea high marriage failure rate! XD
WISDOM comes from years of study, travel and life experiences! You'll see one day.
You say you feel she is looking to replace you, but you don't say that you have any actual factual basis for that (hints, clues, evidence, etc). From that, I am assuming there is NO ACTUAL FACTUAL BASIS for you to think she is looking to replace you. If so, they we have to ask whether you are exceptionally intuitive and have a keen sense about things even where there is not actual, factual indication of it. That kind of "instinct" is unusual, but a few people to have extraordinarily keen instinctive senses about things. Could that be you? Or, is it really just a feeling of inferiority or lack of self worth that is making you feel that way, which could be completely false?
You know the answer to this, better than any of us ... because you are there. Also, you know you. Further, you know her.
Do you think she is a considerate, kind and honest person. And is she intelligent? If you answer YES to those 4 questions, then you are in great shape ... that would mean you should be able to do 2 things and get a good honest response from her.
1. Explain your sense of insecurity to her. Do NOT sound (or look or act) pathetic when you do; that is a turn off to ladies. Just state if in a factual way without whining or crying or looking like you are about to fall apart.
2. Tell her that while you have that feeling, you do TRUST her and think she is honest. Tell her you would thus expect her to tell you whether its in your head or whether your senses are correct. Tell her you need to know and need her to tell you the truth.
3. Tell her you will respect her for her honesty and that it will enable you to get your thinking straight and be "introspective" ... to look within yourself and make try to make whatever adjustments you need to make to feel better within yourself and about her as well.
This kind of a open, mature and giving conversation should cause her to understand what you are going through and to be empathetic about the internal conflict you are dealing with.
Now, if you can not answer my 4 questions YES, then this might not work. If she is not honest, if she is "manipulative" (and wants you till she finds someone else) or if she does not care how you feel (i.e. is not "empathetic") or is not intelligent enought to understand your problem when you explain it, then you might not get a straight answer. In that case, you will have several choices: check up on her or enlist help of others to do so OR rely upon your instincts and pull your heart out of it OR enjoy it while it lasts but prepare yourself for disappointment and keep your own options open. You did not state your age or hers; but I sense young. If so, this could be one who comes in all of our lives in our early years and passes on until we find the right one to try and make it a more permanent (hopefully, half of those end in divorce too) relationship.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU,
ROB
All in all- people suck and EVERYONE gets screwed over sometime!
Get help to feel better go to foulmarkgreetings.com
lmao holly, nice call^_^
There are a lot of ways to find out if she is cheating. Here is a link to a ebook on how to catch a cheating girlfriend.
How To Catch A Cheating Girl friend
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