How do I find happiness? What is making me so so unhappy?

One line in your question popped out at me ... " I want to be loved " .   Sit down with your husband , tell him you love him and you want to be loved by him , you miss him and need him .  Tell him you miss talking to him , holding his hand , having him hold you , tell him you miss his touch and want to be closer to him , tell him you want to make love .    Ask him if he is still in love with you ask him if he's committing adultery .  If this man loves you , he will see how important this is to you , and will reach out to you .  If he does not , then you two need to go to a marriage counselor , and get to the bottom of this .   I would not throw away 30 years of marriage without doing these things .  Please do not think about committing adultery , it is not the answer and the guilt will destroy you and very well might destroy your marriage .   Please please keep us posted .  God Bless you and your husband .

Hi,

    Equus said it all so nicely.  That was my exact the same response.  Thank you Equus, 2 thumbs up for you.  Please follow her  great advice.  I hope your relationship with your husband  will improve.

I feel the same, although I,m not married it does feel like there is a missing link to your life and the frustrating thing is that somebody has it but won,t give you it. I hate not being in control, don,t you? Cheer up and keep smiling to yourself, don,t go looking for love or happiness, they are already looking for you.

Equus, two thumbs up!!! Only thing I would add to this is that you need to go and get some personal counseling as soon as you can. It would appear from your statements that you feel talked down to and that you feel unloved...if you are not loving yourself and/or are clinically depressed (it happens to women our age), you may be giving your husband subtle signals that say stay away from me. The fact that he is so oblivious says that you are not sharing how he could help you feel better about your relationship. Have you told him that you feel he is talking down to you? Is this kind of behavior related to his job?  Whatever the case, you need to feel good about yourself and bring those feelings with you into your marriage. Please get some help to feel better on your own...you are putting too much responsibilty and handing over too much power to your husband by expecting him to be the source of your happiness.  Your life will get better if you get help, I promise. Take care and God Bless.

 Unhappygirl , Purefaith has got some very good points .  2 thumbs up .    Purefaith , I sent you a private message last week , I know there's been a problem with some of them getting delivered , did you receive it . I was asking if I could add you as a contact .