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Do guys prefer a challenge over a nice girl?

Do guys really not like the "nice" girl?  I just recently started dating a guy and we immediately fell for one another. We met through friends at Church and began just hanging out in groups and then started making dates for just the two of us.  It moved pretty fast emotionally, not so much physically, although we were still very comfortable with each other. He was the first guy ever that I felt I could really call my boyfriend. I knew that he had just gotten out of a very serious relationship. He was in love with her and they broke up for religious reasons. After two weeks I noticed that he started to distance himself and eventually got it out of him that he "was not good enough for me" and was going through a lot. He was still in love with his ex and even though he wanted to be with me and likes me a lot, he needs a couple weeks to himself and just hopes that I wont be taken by that time. Am I being too nice giving him this time and waiting patiently? Should I move on? I really like him and know that he likes me a lot as well.

My close friend is also really sweet and is constantly letting guys back into her life and giving them second chances when she shouldn't. We were talking about the possibility that we are not presenting them with enough of a challenge by being so supportive and nice. Should we be less tolerant?

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Best Answer

 
7282 thumbs up

Love is the battery of life....

Hi,


No it's not a matter of setting a challege or being nice and supportive... I believe that the real reason is one of the following:
1.  He is still in love with his ex-girlfriend.
2.  He is not sure about your relations or about the
     way it develops.
3.  He likes being with you but he is not ready (for
     some reason) to go one step further.
4.  He is not a matured person.
5.  He has some hidden problem. 
6.  He is afraid to get involved in serious relations.
7.  He is "playing" with you.
If he asks for a break, don't try to convince him that it is a bad idea.  Tell him that you don't like this idea, and move out of this relation.  If he will try to return consider it seriousely and set your terms.  Don't "give him the time" and don't wait to him.....  He will take you for granted (as if whatever he will do, you'll be there) and that's bad.....  Put some balance in your relations. 
Best regards,
 

Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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4 thumbs up

I don't know if you should be nicer or not, but I have to tell you this guy doesn't sound like he's really interested.

Sorry.

Better luck next time. 


Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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samburican was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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sometimes guys just get curios about what could have been instead of what could be. remember it isn't you it could have been his past it could be fear, kno one really knows what someone else is thinking at any one time. does he think there might be a chance that he could make it work with his ex, possabilities are endless. but from my experiance as someone who has cheated with the ex, I fellin "love" with this girl in 7th grade kinda early yet it happened, we dated till my 12th grd year when I found her in a car with him. I reacted badly "physical force" as I was about to land one final blow my GRANDFATHERS words rang never so clearly as then"there is no greater revenge than to let him /her keep them! I stopped in mid-punch as if struck by lightning. this doesnt ness. apply to your situ. but if he is still in love with her there is nothing you can do to stop it, you can beg,pled fight,cry,bitch,moan. In the end there is only one answer "does he truely love you or her" time will tell if you have the time. does he love you probable does he love her be honest with yourself, yes. Enjoy the company of others while hoping for the best and the bst of luck for you .  PS. Good things come to those who wait

 


Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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mutt was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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79 thumbs up

Wait? I don't think it will do you any good . The guy has some problems , it surprised me since you guy haven't gotten physical much. Usually it happens right after it gets too physical. I wouldn't say it has to do with you being nice or guys liking challenge. If you haven't slept with him there is his challenge. You need to talk to the guy and explain to him that life and especially love is about taking a decisions sometime for good or bad . Sometimes it involves taking certain risks and decideing when there are some doubts. Tell him he knows what you are offering and that you think it will only get better. Ask him if he will ride the train with you , if it won't work then it won't but he is at the train station and needs to decide is he boarding the train and missing out or leaving.

 

Good Luck. 


Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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414 thumbs up

MY inferiority complex isn't as good as YOURS

A nice girl can still be a challenging girl.I'm a nice girl but when I'm with a guy I always call him on his bs.

I think you should tell this guy you're not interested in a project.You would rather be with someone who KNOWS what he wants,rather than wander aimlessly from girl to girl.Tell him when he get's his head straight and grows up he can give you a call,but you'll probably be out with a nice,MATURE man who will treat you with respect.

It's not very Christian to give someone the run around after all.Good luck!

 


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