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Should I still be this guy's friend...or cut him off completely???

I have been talking to this guy for five months. We knew eachother in high school, but I never knew that he liked me. It has been out in the open that he likes me since we started back talking. He goes to school 3 1/2 hours away but when he comes home, he spends his time with me. He spends the night with me in my bed. We basically act as if we are in a relationship, but are not. I have really started to develope feelings for him. He respects me...knowing that I am abstinent, he doesn't come at me in that way. I stayed with him one weekend and actually tried to have sex with him,but he wouldn't do it...which makes me like him even more. I have begun to get impatient becuase I like him and want to know where we stand because we haven't even kissed, I have just beeen waiting on HIM to make a move.

When I try to say things to strike up the convo, he avoids the question. When I actually did get him to, he told me that he really likes me but we have two totally different lifestyles. He wants to have fun and continue to like me and be friends until he is done having his fun, then possibly be with me. So, I went off. I feel as though he misled me, because says that he told me this a long time ago...BUT HE DID NOT. He was also like, "How do you tell a girl that you like something like that???". I was so mad that I cussed him out and told him to leave me the hell alone and deleted his number,pictures, and removed him from my facebook and myspace. I miss his convo and after I have cooled down, I would like to still be friends with him. Is it not worth it???


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86 helpful answers

You should keep him as a friend. Maybe he doesn't believe in sex before marriage (there is a new movement now for abstinence). Just because he is no love or sex material is no reason not to want to stay friends with him. Women usually complain that men only want sex but when the roles are reversed, it is tricky... Get a regular boyfriend and keep this one as a male platonic friend. He may turn out to be a long lasting friend.

 

Actually, I'm the abstinent one.lol

I just happened to have a weak moment...we were half naked in the bed together. He just says that he doesn't want anything serious right now and he really can see himself being with me, just not now. I really like this guy but would like to continue being friends with him. I just really am not feeling the idea that he wants to have "fun" then try to get with me after he has done whatever it is he would like to do. I just KNOW that if we continue to be friends, he will eventually try to get with me.

Posted 2009-05-18T23:16:01Z
 
Ash
1 helpful answer

I would stay friends with him. How close can you be with him without it breaking your heart or getting angry though? It is not fair to him that you get upset over his lifestyle. Nor is it fair to yourself to be upset by it.

 
974 helpful answers

Be Blessed.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity (Love), I am become as a sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vauneth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seekth not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is (Love) charity.  

Kandi,

There are a few things that you mentioned that he said to you that really caught my attention.

" he told me that he really likes me but we have two totally different lifestyles".

"How do you tell a girl that you like something like that???".

"He wants to have fun and continue to like me and be friends until he is done having his fun, then possibly be with me".

Maybe he is trying to tell you something. Have the two of you ever talked about his sexual orientation? 

Be Blessed

 
86 helpful answers

Sometimes it is better to do nothing and let things take their own course. Don't set your hopes too high on him. If whenever he "decides" he is ready for you, then you can respond in kind if you are still available and interested in him.

 
10 helpful answers

Be your dream

he's gay i agree with Tippy

 

LOL!!! I never thought about it that way. I'm pretty sure he isn't, but you never know these days. He acts as if he has "gay phobia" though.lol

I really appreciate the advice from you guys though!!

Posted 2009-05-20T03:18:46Z

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