I have a best friend who when i met 10 years ago was my first love....confused as to where this is headed... on Yedda

I have a best friend who when i met 10 years ago was my first love....confused as to where this is headed...

This is a long one so bare with me..For the past 10 years have been best friends with a guy who would do anything for me as I would do anything for him. We actually dated when we first met & he was my first love & first..ya know ;)and have been there for each other ever since..we've had "relations" with each other on and off (last time was probably in 2005) over the years and have been through relationships with other people..we've gotten in to fights with our boyfriends and girlfriends over one another and them not liking how close we are..but we never once chose to stop talking to each other. We both would have rathered ending the relationship with them then to lose our friendship. This past year on him has been really rough. He found out he was a dad over a year ago...then lost his mom last summer...and then got full custody of his daughter around halloween b/c her mother ended up in jail & will be there for quiet some time. His mother and I were very close over these 10 years too..so losing her was like losing a parent myself. She would refer to me as her soon to be daughter in law..both of our families love the other dearly. I was in a relationship with a guy for the past year who had a drinking problem..we recently broke up & within the past 2 or 3 weeks I have began to start seeing "the best friend" basically on a regular basis. A part of me feels like there is something brewing between us..and then a part of me tells me i'm nuts. I just dont know what his intentions are for us. Best friends like this forever? Thats a nice thought..but its not a reality. It always seems to end up being me and him. So here I am ten years later and I am 26 and feel like i'm 16 again..I guess my question here is do I plunge..wait for him to plunge..or keep things as they are & get the thought of us being together one day out of my ever loving mind?!!! Thanks for taking the time to read & offer advise =)

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2ShYOfACooLGuY2BBaD
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You should sit down And write him a letter , And tell him how you feel about him , Tell him its been eating at you for quite sometime , And you really love him , And you wish that you could be closer And possibly form that relationship that you have long awaited for to be with him , Tell him you find yourself constantly thinking about him , And you just wish that you could become a couple once again And this time you would like it to be forever..

If you don't start And go after him now , Someday might too late , If you can't tell him face to face , Write him a letter And tell him in a letter , You might surprise that spark might happen between you two once again..

Posted 2009-04-28T20:43:26Z

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tyrebitre

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THAT WHICH DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

Bull. Reality is, it will usually hurt like hell and leave you with a permanent limp.

Seeing as how I've been married twice, and divorced twice, I'm most likely not the best source for advice on relationships; except that before, between, during , after, around & about those marriages there were other people who I knew at the time were right for me ( and found out from them later, when it was too "later", that they felt the same ) - but I always hesitated - and lost. My gut feeling is - go for it. Tell him . Nothing ventured ----- Better a heart crushed instantly than one torn slowly to shreds. Now, I have a question : why did we both have to get naked to discuss this ?

Posted 2009-04-29T04:23:49Z

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janissa10

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I agree with both answers. It's always the "should of, would of , could of's" that haunt us for years. That's why you need to let him know how you feel & take a chance. Do it now before it's too late.

Posted 2009-04-29T05:34:03Z

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true story

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Thanks for responding!! I need All the advice i can get! hahaha! I am hesitant to begin with because I know that he has alot on his plate right now & I just dont want to add another thing to it. It would be so much easier if he felt this way too & approached me with this!!!

Posted 2009-04-29T13:07:30Z

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true story

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Oh goodness that sucks! I would be really upset if I jumped the gun with this and because he has alot of shit going on with-in himself he turns the opportunity down..and then our friendship is wierd...and lost. Honestly I think I need to get wasted with him! That would make this alootttt easier!!!! Thank you for responding!!!!

Posted 2009-04-29T13:11:37Z

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true story

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LOL! AHH I know what I should do..and I know what I could do...and I know what could happen if I dont..but its like I need a swift kick in my butt to get me to do something...that or lotsa liquor! Thanks for responding!!

Posted 2009-04-29T13:13:44Z

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virginia

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Sounds like you are not sure of your love for him, there is something that you might not be saying about your friendship with him. Is he a player or you just do not trust him. Tell me more so that I can help. Sometimes best of friends fall in love. Are you??

Posted 2009-04-29T13:44:08Z

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true story

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Hmm..well its not a matter of questioning our friendship...I thinks it is a matter of questioning like the "what ifs". For example...if we were to begin dating..and his daughters mother gets out of jail & she is clean and sober what if she wants him back? Or What if I approach him the fact that I'm feeling torn as to where this is going exactly & he shoots me down? I know that Its better to get it over & done with but its not like he's a nobody to me & I have nothing to lose..This is my best friend & thats a whole lota loss!!! I dont know - he jokes around with me all the time..making sexual comments towards me..at least I think he's joking around with me? When he knows I'm feeling down on myself and I'm pointing out all the things that I think are wrong with me...he reminds me of what an amazing person I am...how beautiful I am & everything else that feels great to have someone say to you..he tells me i'm like his psuedo girlfriend..I go to his apt. during the week when he gets outa work @ like 11pm & we lay on the couch & watch TV till 230 & I love it. We were actually talking last night & he said that he thinks its funny howwe can be so opposite but yet we are so similar. He absolutly hates my ex boyfriend with a passion..he told me he plays out situations in his head as to what he would do if he ran into him & I love that he hates him probably more then I do & the only reason why he hates my ex is cuz he hurt me. Sorry this was me babbling...but maybe it gives you a better sence of my situation!!!! if you want to know anything specific just ask & i'll tell ya whatever it is want to know!!