How do I fix my broken marriage?

I have been with my husband for over 11 years and married for over 9 years. I found out 10 years ago that I had depression. I have lost interest in sex. How do I get my husband to understand that this is not what I choose? When we first met he lied to me right off the bat! I also got a phone bill over 300 dollars!( phone sex numbers!) I then got him a job and he started talking to a girl about us. I also knew the girl!! Then things got worse when he started working at a pizza place. He got a love note from a girl he worked with and didn't tell me. When I found out he lied to me about it. She quit that job and went to another. She started calling my home and he said it was a guy from work. After that he was working at another job and some girl was flirting with him, I honestly think he was flirting too. It just gets worse after that. He never kept a job! I already had 2 kids before I met him. 3 months after we met I got pregnant with my 3rd child! ( his first, i think??) I heard rumors that his sisters friend had his kid, but he denied it. He even denied sleeping with her! He lied to me so much I think he believed himself! I told him he should get a paternity test and if she was his, I would stand by his side if he wanted to be a father to her. But nothing ever came about that. By theway he finally came clean about sleeping with her. I told him he didn't need to lie about his past. Anyways, the most horrible thing happened when we had to live in a motel for almost a year. I was working, yes me not him!! While I was at work he was spending time with her and her 2 kids, while taking care of my 4 kids too! Oh yeah, before that he worked at wal-mart for about 2 weeks and I heard from the people I worked with which 3 of them also worked there over night, that he was spending time with another girl on lunch breaks and regular breaks! By the way, this is when we were living at the motel, so it was kinda the same time he was seeing this other girl, the worst one! Anyways back to the girl who lived in the same motel as us. I would come home after working, and sit out in the hallway with this girl not knowing she was trying to steal my husband. She lived in the same building we did. I remember when we first met her, she was at social services the same time we were because she was getting help to move there for a month. Yes, alot can happen in a short period of time! My daughter shared her banana with her little girl. I would always talk with her in the hallway. Well, one day after I got back to the cursed motel after work, my husband out of nowhere started to argue with me. About what I did not know. Anyways, he started to fight and yell at me and said he needed to get away for a while. Shortly after he left she left!! I didn't know what just happened. Soon to come he was leaving one day during the weekend followed by the other day. He said he was going to his friends house ( male) . She started calling me at work, telling me that they had sex. When I confronted him he denied it. She would tell me what he was wearing that day and what marks he had down there! I beleived her, but he still denied all of it. I was litterally sick and I couldn't function at all. My kids were suffering because of what was going on. I told her I was done with him and she could have him cause I didn'twant him anymore! When I told him that we were over he said if I didn't take him back he would take his life. I did, I gave us another chance. We finally moved out of that city and moved to our home we live in now. When we first moved here, my husband told me she was working a few minutes from where we lived. That tore my stomach up. Thank goodness she didn't last long there. I haven't seen her since then and that was over 3 years ago. Ever since I took him back we've come a long way. He still has alot of issues but he has gotten so much better. He still says to this day that he never cheated on my but I can't beleive him. I do trust him alot more now but there is still a long way to go. I forgave him but I can't get past it. I can't forget. It still seems like it was yesterday. I do know he loves me. How can I get over what has happened in our past? He still has alot of anger but he is controlling it alot better. What scares me is that we can't spend time together without fighting! I love him with all my heart and I know hw feels the same. But, I want to be able to spend time with him without fighting. He spoils me with gifts all the time but those are just material things. I want his love and his heart. I want him to be able to show me with his words and his actions not with material things. I know he loves me cause since june of 2008 I haven't been able to work because of shoulder surgery and then my car accident. He works 6 days a week just to pay our bills and car payments, but I want him to stop throwing it in my face that he works and pays all the bills. He knows how I feel, and that I can't do alot because of what happened, but it still hurts me when he says that stuff.. Most of the time he says sorry and I told him that's fine but it doesn't take away the fact that I might be able to forgive him but I will never forget what he said! I do trust him now that he won't cheat on me but I worry about our lives together. We can't even spend time together without fighting! We are both scorpios so I know that's a challenge in itself. We're both blockheaded, LOL!! We've been through so much, so much I can't even say because it would be too long to write! How do I get past the past and live for the now so we will make it in life? We both tell each other to find someone else all the time, especially because of the fact that I don't have the urge to be intimate with him. I think he deserves someone that can do that forhim. I feel that sex is always on his mind. It makes me feel that, that is the only thing important to him! I want to more intimate with him because I love him. But, he doesn't understand just how much he has hurt me in the past. He always says it's in the past so leave it there, but I just can't! I've tried everything. Meds and arousal pills but nothing works. That's why I think it's so hard for me to feel like I used to. I am tired all the time, but none of the depression meds have worked. I feel like I'm all out of choices. I've done research about hormonal imbalance and everything else. I can't seem to find a good doctor who will check everything. Please help???