I know I keep harping about this, but I can,t help ...

Support groups are available for patients with ulcerative colitis. Being able to talk to others who have the disease makes it easier as they already understand how hard daily life can be. It is very important to consult with a physician for support groups in your area and to take as good a care of yourself as possible. It's possible that severe ulcerative colitis can end up being mild by following all the recommended guidelines.

Sammie, let me ask you just one question; do you buy your clothes in a thrift store?

The best thing you can do for yourself is see a physician and take anti-anxiety medication; then make an appointment with a psychiatrist. Oh, cancel your appointment for the colonoscopy until you can better handle the procedure.  It may take a few years from the sounds of things.   Best of luck, (your going to need it with this obsession), Sammie.

********** yawns