I think my husband may be sexually abusing my son ...

I would start with the county and state you live in.  They have social workers for this kind of thing and it's kept confidential.  They will help you look for the signs.  Is he abusive to you at all?  Thats a big thing anywhere.  But your kids come first.

I would start by talking to your son. Tell him that this is a private conversation between the two of you. If he says nothings going on then tell him to think about it and if he wants he can come to you ...anytime should he remember something. Then I would go to my other son & tell him the same thing. Ask him if Dad has ever touched him. Then ask if he know's "if" there is something going on with his brother. Talk calmly & reassure both that Dad will never know about this conversation. Good Luck & God Bless

This is a delicate matter. It is very important that you seek professional help to handle this situation. They are trained on how to probe for the truth and assess the situation in a way that will bring about appropriate action(s). you need to know that if something is going on, and the case ever go to court, you don't want to have the defense lawyers saying that you may have coached the children I have seen many guilty people go free because of some loop hole in the judicial process.

I understand the fear that you have and that you don't want to hurt the family. while this is a natural feeling, you also seem to want to protect your children. It appears that you have had these instincts for sometime now. It is better to be safe than sorry. Follow your instinc and do the right thing. It will bring the issue to a closure, and maybe even save your children if something is going on. Call your State's Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline, and they will advise you on what is to be done and how they can assist you in resolving this very serious issue. At the moment you ar emerely having a hunch that something is probably going on. I pray that hopefully it is just that, a hunch!, and that your children have to not bee abused. Try not to do this on your own. investigating this kind of allegations can be tricky when you don't know what kinds of questions to ask, and also be able to protect the integrity of any court proceedings (if it ever comes to that).

Set up a video camera.

Your gut feeling is probably right.

Good luck and God Bless.

You have to take action NOW!

I really like it that you didn't do like many women in such a situation saying "I trust my husband and there is no way he is doing this". You're such a smart woman. I suggest that you talk to a specialist and see what s/he will tell you about how to make sure whether your husband is abusing your son(s) or not.

Good luck

First off you have nothing here at all except your imagination ..... have you been violated? I am so sorry to be so blunt, I know you are very very concerned and confused but I would explore this first.

Ask your son what are his favorite things to do with Daddy, then ask what are his favorite things to do with you, and then ask him if there is anything you or Daddy does that he does not like. Ask if if he wishes anything could change at home? ..while you are at it ask your older son also. Speak soft but matter of factly.

There have been times when I imaged my child was too quiet...I have slipped by their bedside and tried to hear well, but did not want them to awaken...I may have looked oddly positioned to my spouse too. 

Question ...has your husband been sexually abused as a young child? That does not mean he would be abusive however it is something to take into account...my guess is that something quite violating happened to you ..I am sorry if I am wrong ...or if I am right  : ]   good luck to you all. God Bless.