Originated from
AOL Coaches

What should I do!?

I just found out that my husband has an 18 year old child that I know nothing about! He would have been about 17 when he had the child. His mother let it slip and I have no idea on how to approach him with the fact that I know!


Share Send to a friend Watch Report
 
 

5 Posted Answers

Order by
 
9121 thumbs up

Love is the battery of life....

Hi,
Shocking new.... all of a sudden..... If your life with him is good you should tell him what you found out and discuss ways and means how to overcome / treat this new situation.   Forgiveness is a devine value.  If your life with him is bad you have a good reason to split.  
Best regards,


Posted 9 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
#3 out of 5
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
25 thumbs up

You mean HE knew? It's one thing to find out down the road, which is shocking enough, but much easier to understand. If your hubby has kept this a secret from you, that's not too good! He probably thought you would be upset or possibly think less of him. The fact is, he is someone's father. We all do dumb things when we're 17, and he's no different, BUT this needs to be brought up. You said you're not sure how to approach him? Just say it! Just tell him you overhead some talk about an 18 year that is his kid. Ask him why you never heard of it, ask him if he has seen him over the years, ask him if he paid child support. This doesn't have to be a mean conversation, but this is defininately something that should have been "mentioned" before you married him. He should have come clean about it. Obviously, I didn't tell my husband details about any past sex partner, but my own child? Yea, whether he played an active role in his life or not, this should have been disclosed.  NOW......Since it's out on the table, I think the best advice for both of you is to be part of this person's life. They didn't do anything wrong, and deserve loving parents on both sides! (Even if the baby was adopted, there are ways to let him know you care. and he is now nearly an adult. It's never too late)


Posted 9 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
Best Answer
0
2

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
2 thumbs up

Love like there is no tomorrow...Hate like you have forever!

I was in the same situation a few years ago.  My husband had a daughter, the woman was pregnant at the time we were engaged...imagine the shock...you must talk to your husband and let him know how you feel and let him tell his story.  Things aren't always as they seem.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.


Posted 9 months ago ( permalink )
redhotdot was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

Rated as
#4 out of 5
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
532 thumbs up

Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about. 

Wow. That is shocking news to say the least. I think you should talk to your husband about how you're feeling. I might even suggest trying marriage counseling to help get through this difficult time.


Posted 9 months ago ( permalink )
Mrs.H0711 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

Rated as
Best Answer
0
2

Helpful?

line
line
line



 

You should have an open mind and an open heart to this child. Its obv. this child is not a part of him nor his family.. What a shame! Someone needs to step up to the plate and be this kids hero, what's done is done.. He wasnt with you, he didnt cheat on you and have a child out of wedlock, he himself was a child. He is not a child now, its time he steps up to the plate and be a real man!

Wow, what a shame this kid had to grow up hidden! 


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
#5 out of 5
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



Sign in to participate

Got an answer for howcanhedothis? Would you like to comment on the posted answers, or vote for the one which you think is the best?

Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).

Explore Related Questions

Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:


My total cholesterol, ldl's, hdl's and ...

my total cholesterol, ldl's, hdl's and triglycerides are ok, but my ldl particle numbers are not ok. how important are ldl ...
Submitted by charlier 1 year ago
  • viewed 850 times

Last answer posted 1 year ago by Sergey