How to ask a 23 yr old to talk to there mother ...

As a single father, I know how important it is for my children to keep an open line of communication with their mother. It's important to remind them that while their lives can get busy, the reality is that life is too short to cut off communication with a person who helped give that life. I hope this helps.

This is no doubt a difficult task. It has to do with efforts from both sides and not only from the child. The mother needs to try and make contact with her pleasant without bringing up issues of conflict, at least in the beginning. On the child's side he/she needs to understand that a parent can become an important part of your life even when it doesn't seem like it's going in that direction. It would be a shame to burn that bridge of communication at this stage in life.

It is hard to open up to parents. Believe me I'm going through that right now. You just gotta let them know that they can tell you anything. Though you may get upset..don't throw them to the dogs for opening up to you.

They need to know that you will always be there for them though good or bad. And if you get upset let them know its cause you love them and just be honest with them. The honesty and communication will make its course to you gradually until it becomes a second nature to them.

Tell your friend that you've noticed the anger between her mother and her, and that from this day forward, when they communicate perhaps your friend can act as the bigger adult by showing her mother that the two of them can be civil when communicating.  Let her know that she will only get one mother and learning to communicate with her now without getting angry is the most important thing she can do.  God forbids if something were to happen to either of them and a conversation filled with anger and explosive outbursts would be the last thing one of them were to remember about the other, and remind her also of how sad of a memory that would truly be.  

Just be respectful of who he is and whatever you do don't come across as judemental.  Treat him with respect and eventually it will become mutual.  If you have critisms leave them behind.