Dear Margaret, I have both a 23 year old son and an 18 year old daughter.  My son has pretty much kept a job since he was 16, but my daughter? I have told her since she was old enough to work, which is 15 in my state that I would support her as long as she is in school, that includes college as well. That had another benefit, that hopefully college would be in her future!...ah, haaa! She could work as much as she wants or doesn't want, reap the benefits and I would let her keep her paycheck to do with as she pleases, keep a roof over her head, pay the water bill for her showers and laundry, phone, cable, rides to her job, ETC... But stay in school.  If she decides not to further her education?  as I did with my 23 year old, charged him $80 per week to pay for room and board, I told him that the taxi service is over unless he payed for gas, if the pissin' and moaning started? there's always a real taxi, I believe that it costs about $3 just to sit in the cab plus mileage. The laundrymat is down the street, I did it while raising him, ALONE! I would put the bag of laundry in the baby carriage right behing him...And as an adult, you are not entitled to buy him 4 course meals anymore, Mac-n-cheese is cheap, bread for toast with an egg makes a great breakfast, and generic spaghetti "store brand" and hunts spaghetti sauce which is about $1 a can, It goes a looong way, It is plenty enough to keep him alive.  And If you have a smaller room for a bedroom for him? give it to him, let him know that the room that he has could be rented out for about $125.00 a week and with nothing included.  Offer him nothing extra! NO RIDES, NO EXPENSIVE CLOTHING, NO USING YOUR ELECTRICITY, IE: IF HE HAS TELEVISION IN HIS ROOM WITH CABLE!  Enabling him could be the worst thing you could do. I lost my mother due to cancer when I was 20, I was a lost soul raising my 1 year old by myself, "BUT I HAD TO DO WHAT I HAD TO DO" your child will lose the chip on his shoulder in due time but enabling him will only make the process longer!  Just ask my Aunt who is raising my 40 year old alcoholic son, "my cousin" never married and as far as I know, only had 1 girlfriend who kicked him to the curb. He has a crappy job that pays enough to keep him supplied with booze. My aunt is 80 years old now, and when I speak with her, she tells me how great it is to have him there and wouldn't know what she would do without him....hahahaha...20 years ago she was bitching that he wouldn't get a job, now she owns him until her death.  I hope that the house that he took the air out of to breathe is sold and split with his sister and brother but knowing my Aunt, she will give it to my cousin to die in as well, the way he drinks?  both my Aunt and Cousin will go at the same time. Frankly, my Aunt is in better shape than he is.       Well, the moral of the story is, unless you want adjoining grave plots? Set some ground rules and give him ultimatums and "FOLLOW THOUGH"  If you don't follow through with your ultimatums and/or threats? They won't believe you, I've been through it, I know! And not only do I know it, I did it to my own mother,...RIP  I thought she'd be around forever and help me raise my child...SURPRISE!?!?  I grew up pretty quick then, after my sister , "THE LANDLORD" booted me out before my mom passed, thinking she was going to own me after she died. I hated her for that but now I understand why she did it...   Give your child an "ULTIMATUM" and save him from himself