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What does my exboyfriend want from me?

I met this guy when I was 19 and he 38.When I went into it I was not looking for a relationship just a fun, older fuck buddy. I was going thru hard times w/ family, etc. Our first date was at a hotel and we fucked, tho I really wasn't expecting it. About 1 month into knowing each other we made it an official committed relationship. We discussed marriage, children, everything. He brought it up. Everything was SO much fun! It was different. He was into me. He made so much time for me. He's a lawyer and has his own office. He bought me jewelry, took me shopping even when I didnt want to. We spent our afternoons together alot. We'd meet up to go bowling or fuck or something. He even met my family that didn't like him at first b/c our relationship was private and they thought he might have a bad influence on me.  3 months into it, we started arguing alot b/c I wanted more quality time and he'd just push me to study for school and told me he had a big case coming up and after he'd have more time for me. I started looking at online dating sites, came clean to him about it b/c of his suspicions. We argued more and more. I really loved him and just wanted his attention. Here and there we'd make up and have sex abt twice/week. Even then, he still always wanted me and showed desire for me by flirting, touching, talking dirty over the phone.When we fucked hed talk 'dirty' asking me if I wanted to get pregnant and stuff. we fucked in his office, hotels, my place when no one was home, whereever. Didnt last. The better I became as a person, the less he seemed to like me. I started out on the wrong path, but got better. stopped being the flirt I was and treated him very well. Things just got worse. He didn't make time for sex. I was always wanting but he'd have an excuse and get upset. I asked him why he never introduced me to his mother or friends and he got upset. Fastforward to now. The day before my birthday, Dec 8, he broke up with me (I broke up w/ him 1 month earlier b/c of the constant arguing). It took alot of time for it to sink in.  After alot of crying Ive gotten it together. The whole time he remains in contact w/ me. I told him I still want to fuck and he hesitates but we've done it a couple of times. he says he loves my body and that it's the best hes ever seen. He says he thinks about me when he  masturbates.  I asked 2 days ago if he wanted to fuck me and he said he wanted to but hasn't taken the next step. I told him I can control my emotions. Plus, I'm already dating other guys. He treats me like his daughter which I kinda don't like. He takes me out and pays, takes care of me financially, we have ok conversation though most of it comes from me. I find him somewhat boring these days. All he does is work. That's his only motivation in life. Why does he keep contact w/ me if he doesnt want sex, he said he doesnt ever see a future w/ us and already broke up w/ me? He got upset when he found out I was going on a date and that I was possibly fucking other guys, but he doesn't go far w/ it. Should I even keep talking to him?  Why in the hell does he keep in contact and said he wants to be 'friends' yet doesnt want a real relationship? He knows how strongly I felt and still a bit do about him but he's driving me crazy. He still trys to make dates w/ me and acts somewhat like a bf. He takes care of me. But emotionally I feel sometimes I'm riding his rollercoaster. WTF?!

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3034 thumbs up

Live simply, love generously, care deeply,

speak kindly, leave the rest to God.

Hi ElleA, I'm glad to help, I see that you are only 21 years old, could be a daughter I never had. You have a nice future ahead of you. Everyone in this world made mistakes, made a fool of themselves at one time or another. The beauty in this is we learn a lot from these mistakes and we become wiser and smarter people. If you'll use your God-given talents, whatever it is and use them to reach your utmost potential, no one will stop you from being a successful, respectable, and honorable young LADY. At that time, these men who only want sex from you will view you in a different light. They won't treat you the way this man did because by then you will have a lot of self-respect in you. So I hope that you will look at yourself as a lady that God loves and when you feel that in your heart, you will not dare ruin it, you will be behaving as a different person, only uttering words that pleases God. You must be a very beautiful person otherwise he won't be attracted to you. External beauty without internal beauty is useless, look at the lives of these superstars from Hollywood. They have empty lives that's why they resort to alcholism, illegal drugs, sex with anyone who are willing to do it with. I am very hopeful that you will succeed in whatever you do in any profession you will choose, possibly Law or Medicine. Aim high and hit the mark and show to everyone that you are a new person who deserves respect. Good luck to you and take care of yourself, and don't forget to pray.


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to ElleA's question
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513 thumbs up

You are right; I am a parent and I have a daughter much, much younger than you. I wrote harshly because of your language and your emphasis on what I think are the wrong things. I still think you should forget this man and build a life for yourself and don't waste your time. You have the self-esteem necessary for a solid relationship.


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to ElleA's answer
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75 thumbs up

If you can't handle the truth, why bother to ask the question?

Well, I know you didn't like my answer but I'm not here to gain popularity!  And as 'unpopular' as it is to some...sometimes a sharp slap in the face gets a hell of a lot more attention than just telling someone what they want to hear.  I really am here to offer advice.  Hopefully to help someone along the way.  I am impressed by your more recent posts.  You seem more mature and a lot less ' porn star'.  Forgive me, but read you own writing!  Pms is not an excuse for bad behavior, although women have used that one since the beginning of time.  Reading your latter posts makes me take you a little more seriously.  Good for you.  This guy is bad news.  I don't know why he is keeping you on the line and not really wanting to have sex with you.  The answer could be as simple as keeping you on the line in case he wants to have sex with you in the future.  Maybe it's more complicated, who knows.  Don't waste your time trying to figure out why.  For some things there are no answers.  (best advice ever given to me...just passing it along). 

You stated you started out looking for a F@#$ buddy.  (Using someone... I mean, fair is fair.  That's what we all call it when a guy does it.)  Then the tables turned.  That is not uncommon.  Now, you want more and he still wants what you originally offered.  You changed.  He didn't.  Learn from this and move on.


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to ElleA's question
jada_lynne was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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9 thumbs up

"Know that Law of Sowing and Reaping"

Well the only reason why I told you to be a challenge, is because men don't like it when it gets too easy, and yes love is a game, when there is only one person experiencing the love. You can love him all day, but if he dosent love you.... pull out your deck of cards, and you better play them right. Since he calls you every now and then, and you guys still talk, I was just giving advice on how you COULD handle the situation to get him back on your team.... but like all the others have said....MAN UP, forget the goo goo ga ga womanly stuff.. and just leave him where he stands. And no I never thought you were a slut, just a beginner as you stated. Everything will be fine next time around. Dog Breeder's advice is definately worth listening to. Everything and Anything is possible through Christ who strengthens you.   


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to ElleA's question
honeybuns was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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