I donated my eggs to my sister inlaw, it was a mistake.

There are some holes in your message that prevent giving an intelligent response. Are you married, do you have children; could jealousy be part of your problem?

Since you tell us that you have always regretted giving your eggs to your sister-in-law, I would think that she probably heard or felt your regret and that may be the reason they never spoke to you about baby #2. There are probably other issues that you do not mention, such as sybling rivalry. How is your relationship with your brother? Whatever the reason. you must make an effort to put this issue behind you and get busy with more important things to get on with your life and not dwell on the past which will do you no good.

Hi sunshine,

    I think that if one donates something, the person did it out of his /her own free will.  I suggest for you to move on and pay attention to your own life now.  You gave your egg cell freely.  Leave them alone.  That's why this is not a good idea to donate egg cells to relatives.

I wouldn't say you're a bad person for feeling regret or being uncomfortable about baby #2. I would say, however, that it would not be a kind thing to make them aware of this, as you did agree to it, however regrettable. Your regret is a personal issue and not their problem. After all, they did pay for those eggs to be created and fertilized and stored with your permission. These are not small costs. Also, these are not only eggs we are talking about. They have been fertilized, presumably with your brother's sperm.  Would you rather have these embryos destroyed over sour grapes and poor decision making? I doubt you would because you're not a bad person. What kind of "bad person" goes to the trouble of donating eggs in the first place? Just surrender control over the situation, because you have none, and decide that you aren't going to destroy any relationships over a bad judgment call on your part. You're feelings are valid, but they are your feelings and your family hasn't done anything wrong.

Hmm.  Very difficult situation, and unfortunately as with any problem there are always two sides.  To make the decision to donate to a family member is an emotional and sensitive offering to someone close to you and/or family who desperately needed someone's help.  That you offered shows what a kind and generous spirit you are, and that 'family' plays a very important part in you life.

That it didn't work out according to plan, is terrible.  Who are any of us to judge the reaction of a 23yr old? How many of us can truly say, that at that age - we made lasting decisions that will last and affect us for a lifetime?  To be confronted with one's DNA and biology, I can only imagine - must be confronting.

It is true that it sounds like some of these issues are yours to deal with personally, and with your husband - and not the responsiblity of your sister in-law.  That your sister-inlaw hasn't been open with you and your husband about continuing plans is a reflection of her, and not you.  Should she not purse her family because you (unfortunately) no long feel happy about your donation and the outcome? I believe, that she has a right to do as she wishes with her eggs as they were donated to her. Should she, in the spirit in which they were given - ask you how you feel about this? Do you have any feelings/emotions to share about her using the eggs? I believe also, yes she should have.  I think that technological, medical advances are not always in line with our emotional growth as people.  Bad people do not donate to sister inlaws who are infertile.  Bad people also do not use eggs that are given to them to have families. We are all human, and we all have to do what is right for us.  Seems to me, with baby nu 2 on the way, you need to work out what is best for you and your husband, and not concern yourself with what is best for them. Good luck.