How do you divorce someone that you can't find and ...

Whoa!  My question is why did you stay married in the 1st place?  That said, get a lawyer so all the paperwork is done correctly.  It is relatively inexpensive and well worth the money, unless you want to save a few bucks and STILL be married.  They will send the papers to the LAST KNOWN ADDRESS, advertise in the paper and within the allotted time in your state, usually 30-60 days, you will be legally divorced!

The thing of it is that it's not actually me...it's my mom.  See...it was a bad situation and she decided to leave when I was only a year old...and I really want to get her "single" again...you know?  But unfortunately, money is tight and we have no idea where he is or even if he's still alive or not...so ya.  I'm just not sure where to begin...and unfortunately, the court systems have proven very unhelpful.  So ya...thanks for the advice though!      :)

Ok so...what state are you in?  Start there!  You can go online and get a do-it-yourself divorce kit!  lol...sounds funny but it's true and very inexpensive.  Make sure the one you get is for your state.  Then file the papers with the court and follow all directions carefully!  we're talking less that $150.00...Best of luck!

It might depend on your state, however, if you do not have an address for the person, you can run an ad in the paper of his/her last known city 3 consecutive times advising that divorce proceedings are filed against him.  When there is no response, you may be granted a divorce by default.  You will need to prove that you ran the notice in the appropriate newspaper and gave the information for the person to respond to, e.g, the lawyers phone number.

As Jadda lynne mentioned above, online divorce kits are brilliant!

A very good friend just used "legalzoom.com" for his divorce. His soon to be ex was all the way in Australia and he was in NYC. He loved how easy it was and I think it was about $200. I know money can be tight so you can find free news papers to place the ads, when attempting to find this person. Keep in mind this is just for the sake of the court. Also you can probably place an ad on "craig's list" and print out your ad and keep a copy. You know, it just shows you made an effort! You should have no problem.