What is the difference between love and obsession?

Hi Instaloans:

Love vs. Obsession - a major difference.  Obsession is not love.  It can masquerade itself as love with many traits of what one deems to be love. . .and can easily become a compulsion, a form of attempted control that the obsessed consciously or not, enjoys and does not want to lose, and may believe there is nothing wrong in his or her viewpoint on any subject of a relationship.

You may find persistent and disturbing behavior in a specific area or overall.  This so called love, can show itself in a degrading manner, as in demeaning the self-confidence of an individual by words, threats or actions to the near point of abnormality.  

Obsessive love will create tense moments of unnecessary stress that can destroy what love exists, and if not addressed realistically, will get worse over time.

If someone is obsessive or abusive during a relationship. . .marriage will not change the situation and may even make it worse.    

Jane Doe Chronicles
Copyright © 2008 cdh

www.janedoechronicles.typepad.com

Hi again Instaloans:

Good question.  Taking obsession out of the realm of true obsession that can defile, tear down, destroy, inflict pain and doesn't build up a relationship, I do believe the individual of the true-love obsession has unconditional love that may be somewhat misguided from the extreme loving for their partner, yet valid. 

I can only see this becoming a problem if the one with the true-love obsession encounters some emotional, physical or expected need - as not met.  One needs to be realistic, not short-changing themselves in a relationship.

Many people enter "relationships" not knowing exactly what that means, and how to go about it, including lacking the ability to put the other person's interests before their own and work through "thick and thin."  The true-love obsession falls somewhere on the opposite side of the issue.

My concern would be: what is one getting out of such a relationship.  I hope enough to be fulfilling where there is enough respect and warm, personal affection; a give and take with some joy and enough peace within to make it worth while.

The good book the Bible counsels to: "Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely . . ."  but, in doing so we are not meant to become doormats to be trod upon with lost respect and dignity or demeaning comments whether in public or in private.

If one loves so deeply from the very depths of the soul, it is only that person that can determine if a so-called true-love obsession is hindering a relationship, is unfair, or considered acceptable in what they are willing to put up with, as you said: "With no expectations."  Is such a person really happy or just contented?

Ms. Leona Hemsley a real estate baron with wealth in hand and a true-love obsession for her dog, upon passing had willed in excess of ten million dollars to her beloved pet to the consternation of many.

Perhaps love is in the eye and heart of the beholder.  Who is it for another to say?

Jane Doe Chronicles
Copyright (c) 2008 cdh

www.janedoechronicles.typepad.com

Hi Instaloans:

Not being able to walk in one's shoes, I would say a man with such a persona has a true love, and not an obsession if he is being realistic enough in wanting her to have the world, knowing he can't give it to her. . .and so long as realistically the circumstances are not creating out of proportion negatives.

The one thing lacking in this world is true love.  A man who desires to shower his partner with the world is a prize.  Enjoy everyday. He believes you are worth it, do you?  Remember - he may not be around tomorrow.  Love and enjoy while you can.

Jane Doe Chronicles
Copyright (c) 2008 cdh

www.janedoechronicles.typepad.com