I can somewhat identify with your challenge, but I discovered the "key" that allowed me to gain the right kind of weight and as a result led to my becoming a Certified Master Fitness Trainer (all after the age of 45). I truly believe there is a "key" to help most people attain results that will be gratifying.
It would be unethical to make a blanket recommendation to you without knowing some evaluation facts that would furnish insights into helping you develop a balanced fitness program.
If you would like to contact me through my website, www.life-stylefitness.com I will be glad to communicate with you. Let me encourage you to not become discouraged because with an incorporation of nutrition and resistance training you may actually surprise yourself as to what can be achieved. I have a section about this in my fitness eBook (information can be found at www.fitnessbasics101.com).
Success to you.
www.life-stylefitness.com