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He wants to die young.

i've made friends with this very friendly man. as i've got to know him better, i have noticed somethings that do not sound healthy to me such as him wanting to die by the age of 40 max. he doesnt want to get married or have children because he has claimed to have tried it once and things didnt work out. he actually wasnt even really married but just dated this girl for a really really really long time. he doesnt visit the doctor even when he is in severe pain and says that he deserves it. he almost never sleeps and claims that his daily 5 mile run keeps him going... he doesnt really open up. he talks about what has happened, but doesnt express his deep feelings about it. he has been through some great challeneges in life. i feel like there is something he is not over. and im very worried about him. when i try and point out that maybe he needs help or his way of thinking is not normal, he tells me that im wrong because he wouldnt lie to himself or "i love being outside of the norm". it seems as if he is in denial about the whole thing... and also that he is very weak emotionally. he breaks down and takes things very hard. he expresses no hatred or negative feelings towards anyone but god and he claims thats because he would rather god take him away than the people he keeps taking out of this life. it seems as though he is trying to run from the reality of life. i've done research on depression but i havent gotten any real results. i dont know what i could do to help him. i am very worried to a point where im thinking about this situation all the time. i have to find a way to get to him and make him understand. i believe he has been goign through this for a while now, not sure exactly how long. but i know its been over three years for sure. any advice? i am willing to do whatever it takes. and is something even wrong or am i over analyzing the situation? there is a lot more to his behavior than i expressed earlier ... i tried to sum it up to the best of my ability. otherwise he is a very very friendly person. one of those friends that you cant help but cherish. always there. always willing to go out of his way for you. i mean, you couldnt ask for more from a friend. he claims to not have very many close friends and has told me that he considers me one. he is very close with his family and does whatever he could for them. but he says that right now its all about them but later in life "i want to be selfish for once" and that's when he wants to end his life ... i really dont get it...  please give me any advice or feedback you may have.


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4561 helpful answers

Love is the battery of life....

Hi, ---------------- Your analysis is 100% correct and as a friend you should be worried..... Yes, he is still in the denial stage.... You have 2 options: Either to force him to get help or to do your best get him over the denial stage..... If you really care about him (sure you are !) than it's time to be pro-active and start doing..... It might be tough and even unpleasant but it is a MUST..... this man has to get help !. There is no doubt about it. .....and the sooner the better...... ----------------------- Best regards,

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150 helpful answers

Free as a bird, it's the next best thing to be.
Free as a bird.

I agree with what Oron has said. He needs help ASAP. If he refuses or makes excuses, I would seriously think about giving him an ultimatum. Just remember, you've got a life too.

Posted 2008-08-05T09:45:20Z
taligat was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

 

I think that your friend is going through some devestating changes in his life, and should seek help.

No, you are not overreacting.

 He is denying because he feels that there might be something wrong with him (he might take it as an insult). I think that you should force your friend to get some counseling help. If you can't do that, suggest some anti-depressant that might help him.

 
sjs
8 helpful answers

This person has placed a wall around them. Its a protection wall. No one can get in. No one can hurt them while its up. Whoever or whatever damaged this person you cannot assist them. All you can do is pray. Pray for his salvation. You may want to see which religiion this person use to attend. Ask that church to intervene. You may call any hotlines or referral places. They will assist you.

Posted 2008-08-08T03:02:04Z
sjs was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

 
2463 helpful answers

 

 Be honest and be true to yourself.

You need to make his parents and close relatives aware of what's going on with him and tell them exactly the same way you said it in your question.  They need to take him to a Psychiatrist for evaluation of his mental and emotional state.  This has to be done soon before he harms himself.

 
kv
26 helpful answers

It sounds like your friend has been very hurt and is in need of some kind of therapy.  The fact that he won't go to therapy may indicate that your friend might want to hold onto his pain.  Sometimes we are in pain for so long that we have a hard time giving it up.  I know that sounds absured but it is so.  If your friend tells you he wants to die that is not fair of him to do that to you since you do not know whether to believe him or not.  Usually people who want to die don't tell anyone and they go ahead and kill themselves when everyone around them least expects it.  Your friend, I think, wants his pain to die and not his actual self.  Encourage him to see a therapist and tell him that you care very much about him but it upsets you when he tells you he wants to die and it puts you in an uncomfortable perdicament.  Bring out his good points and good heart and soul always.  Be positive with him all the time and don't let him sabbotage his goodness towards others.

 
28 helpful answers

You're right! This man sounds deeply depressed and should seek out professional help immediately. In the meantime, you're becoming obsessed with something that's not in your domain. You don't have the training for this and your own mental health is being affected. If he refuses to go to a psychologist(and he probably will refuse), perhaps a visit to one of his friends or a parent may be able to reach him. In any event, be supportive of him, but not at the expense of your own well being.

 

i have been hospitalized for suicide attempts and i know that it is hard on the family and friends of the person but a lot of people push to hard if you think he is a real danger than call someone you trust for help but if not be there and let him vent if you are not up to it than tell someone who is able to help asure him that there are people who have issues everywhere and to not give up on life a while ago i had a plan to die at age 25 i did not want to experience the love and compassion all i had known was hatred and i decided i would go every where i wanted and then end it but something happend  that i never thought was possible i met someone who i found was worth living for he fell in love with me we moved in together three days after we met and have been together for five months we are engaged to be married and i am pregnant  it turns out all i needed was someone to care about me and have a little faith in me we all deserve that chance help him get his

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