jordantl, the counseling is a great idea as is church.  One to help you to see yourself and your life more clearly and the other to give you the support you need to do anything life may send your way. personally, I think you are being a little naive thinking that your bf doesn't turn his back on anyone. He turned it on his son when he moved with you for the purpose of working on your relationship and he turned his back on you when he went back before you could make arrangements to do the same. Don't put off the counseling.  Joeyboy, if you have not had the insecurity problem in other relationships, I think you ought to take a long hard look at her behavior. True, you should not invade her privacy; however, why is she being so private. I never hid my password or phone use because I did not have anything to hide.  It never phased me that my husband (even as a boyfriend) would do his computer business using my log in as often as his own simply because it popped up as the last one used.  I am wondering why she finds it necessary to keep all of the men's phone nos.  Is it for business? Does she know that it bothers you? I know that I would take the time and tell her that I had a problem with trust because (whatever is the reason) and so I need some reassurance from you that I am as important to you as you are to me. Don't blame her for being untrustworthy, but take responsibility for it being your problem and "ask" her for help dealing. If she cares about you, she will be supportive and try to help you through this rough patch until you feel more secure. That is not to say that she is going to make a career of it as anyone would tire of that and feel that there is no way to ever get you to trust them. It also causes you to waste time that you could be spending enjoying each other and making your relationship stronger.