How to stop snooping and not trusting!

e-mails and phones are private!you have no right looking at them!if she finds out,she will get really mad,and you'll lose her!so,first,it doesn't matter how beautiful she is,if she loves you,she will not cheat!she has her life and her friends,not everybody who gets in touch with her,is her lover!most of us,have plenty of friends and a lot of flirting does go on,that is all fun,not to be taken seriously!she's with you,isn't she?that just proves that she likes you,don't ruin it,by being jealous!just be happy that she's your girlfriend and let her have her fun,how would you feel,if your life was under a magnifying glass from somebody else,all the time?

Trust is what affects us to this behavior. Thats the key! You have to understand what leads you to behave like this? Did you behave like this with the rest of the girl friends you had? If you are that kind of person I guess confronting her like Oron advised is best, but if you figure out that with different girls you weren't that way, then you must point out what she is doing that is bothering you it's probably something in her behavior except the phone calls and mails.  You have got to reach an understanding that thats the way she is and you have to except her and your relationship. How would you feel if someone invaded to your privacy? Try to get it out of your mind , think of all the good qualities you have and what a great relationship you two have. Get the possibility of her with someone else out of your mind good thoughts bring good things. Build up your confidence , tell her to help you out by telling you more often she loves you. Believe in yourself and that you are with her for the right reasons, I am assuming it's love!

If you are not yet engaged or at least reached an agreement that you are the only one she is dating, you have no right to pry into her private affairs and e-mail. She would have every right to sever the relationship should she find out about your compromising her privacy. If you want more of a commitment from her then you must ask for it and stop your prying immediately.

First off, snooping through one's personal e-mail's, cell phone etc., only shows insecurity! The first thing to do is go to the source. That being, not to be afraid to confront the situation. If your honest with her, the odds of her dumping you are far less. A relationship is built on trust and if you cannot trust that person, who can you trust? Don't be afraid of her physical attraction or someone elses' attraction to her, just be happy with the fact that she comes back to you.

I have the same problem I know exactly what you mean....

What about my case? I didn't trust and snooped, and I did find that he was messing around with another girl. They're miles apart, I know. But it's emotional cheating, isn't it? I know it was wrong of me, but i figured that if this was going to go long I had to be sure. That was the only way I know how to protect myself and make sure that I wasn't going crazy.

I know how you feel. I am kinda in the same situation with my boyfriend. He has a son with an ex. We recently moved across the states to try to refocus on our relationship and my job. He claimed he wanted to be as far as possible away from her. But this last week he has decided he misses his son too much so he left to go back to be with him. My boyfriend has such a wonderful heart. He is the type of person that can't turn his back on anyone. Which is so hard for me when it comes to dealing with his ex because he says he wants to be friends with his ex - not calling her everyday to see what is going on, but has to be friendly. LOL He said he has a fantasy that we could all spend Christmas together. Which I would like that too, but I know that won't happen until she stops her antics and faces that he moved on, so she needs to too. His ex refuses to move on and let him go. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 24/7 for the last year and half, so I know there is no cheating; but her calling or texting when it doesn't involve their son is so hard to deal. I try my best to remind myself that we are still together and as soon as I can I'm going back to the other end of the states, but when I see her comments on myspace the jealousy gets me. She knows that we only argue about her...so she knows with making the comments fuels the fire. She has admitted it. I know that he says he never loved her, and he actually thinks that she got prego on purpose to try to keep him. I am going to go to a counselor and learn how to deal with my trust and jealousy issues. EVERY guy I have been with has cheated on me. I know my boyfriend won't ever do that...I have more trust in him than anyone else out there, but there are trust issues when it comes to his ex. So I am going to go to counseling and get back into church to see if this will help me through...I would suggest the same.

jordantl, the counseling is a great idea as is church.  One to help you to see yourself and your life more clearly and the other to give you the support you need to do anything life may send your way. personally, I think you are being a little naive thinking that your bf doesn't turn his back on anyone. He turned it on his son when he moved with you for the purpose of working on your relationship and he turned his back on you when he went back before you could make arrangements to do the same. Don't put off the counseling.  Joeyboy, if you have not had the insecurity problem in other relationships, I think you ought to take a long hard look at her behavior. True, you should not invade her privacy; however, why is she being so private. I never hid my password or phone use because I did not have anything to hide.  It never phased me that my husband (even as a boyfriend) would do his computer business using my log in as often as his own simply because it popped up as the last one used.  I am wondering why she finds it necessary to keep all of the men's phone nos.  Is it for business? Does she know that it bothers you? I know that I would take the time and tell her that I had a problem with trust because (whatever is the reason) and so I need some reassurance from you that I am as important to you as you are to me. Don't blame her for being untrustworthy, but take responsibility for it being your problem and "ask" her for help dealing. If she cares about you, she will be supportive and try to help you through this rough patch until you feel more secure. That is not to say that she is going to make a career of it as anyone would tire of that and feel that there is no way to ever get you to trust them. It also causes you to waste time that you could be spending enjoying each other and making your relationship stronger.