I'm dating a man with 'Knight in Shining Armor' syndrome. Problem is, I don't need or even want saving. Sure, I have issues every once in a while but I don't need someone to come 'fix' them or help me 'talk them out'.
So here's my dilemma: I really adore this guy. But I've noticed more and more that when I'm not in some sort of crisis, he's nowhere to be seen. Of course, as soon as something horrible happens, he's right by my side, helping me through. He fits all the criteria: he's been a cheater in all his past relationships and feels bad about it, he feels inadequate sexually for several reasons, a lot of people characterize him as gay when they first meet him although, once you get to know him, he's actually extremely masculine, and I've just noticed that he's rather insecure with people who aren't his friends - he's actually admitted to me that he is.
What do I do? Do I break it off so he can grow and make the changes that definitely need to be made? Or do I stick it out and hope things get better - hope that once he sees he doesn't have to save me, he'll move past this syndrome? I know I can't 'fix' him - been there, done that. But I can be there for him. Then again, I also know that relationships often stump people's personal growth.
As you can see, I'm very conflicted. Do I stay or go? Help!
- Avinia in Atlanta
