I am currently getting divorced and he is divorced ...

Hi,
Sorry if my answer will not be popular.  Words cost nothing.  So he can tell you million things.  As long as it is not backed with hard evidence it's even dot worth 1 cent.  You know him for 4 years, you are dating for 8 months that's enough time to getting to know you.  Now, after getting your divorce he only offers you 2B friends + sex......  Sorry, many will offer you the same.....  no obligations.....  seems 2B very not serious.  I bet he will be seeing other "friends" like you (sure with sex).   My best advice:  Make a clear cut.  Have a nice open conversation, tell him what you feel about him, and tell him you want to be his one and only, and you want to establish some mutual obligations.  Make it clera that it's either or.  I know it won't be easy 4U, but it's a must.  You have to make it clear: Is he bla-bla-bla or does he mean what he says.  It could kill your relations but in that case you'll find his real face (and sure it's better now than latter).  My gut feeling: He will run away as soon as you start talking to him.  Sorry, that's what I think.  I honestly didn't mean to hurt you, on the contrary, I wish you the best of luck and that you'll find your true love very soon.
Enjoy the weekend,

Try to be logical and answer this question: What kind of relationship can you expect where you are ready to make a committment and he is in it for the sex? You are going through a divorce and are therefore very vulnerable and that is why you shoulld be doubly careful. After the divorce take a breather and rid yourself of all the static. When you regain your self-confidence and can think clearly you can then think of new realtionships but only those that are mutual. Please don't rush into anything that could cause you pain. 

I know your story sounds really unique to you, and by no means I'm trying to diminish what you are experiencing by telling you this, but:

Almost every woman who I know who got out of a long term relationship fall really hard for someone right away, that person was always unavailable  whether for being an emotional fuck up, in another relationship, living far away or just not looking for a serious relationship. When this happened to me, I was trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling and came up with a few theories:

1. I was used to caring for somebody and that emotional need just passed into the next person I became intimate with.

2. I was scared to be alone and seeing myself as inlove with someone else was an easier step into singleness then accepting the fact I was alone and on my own.

3. I really wanted to be in love and to be loved, but I was not ready at all to be in a relationship, I fall for an unavailable person because I could not, at that point, fall for anyone who might be available and who would get me into a serious relationship.

4. Dealing with the notion that my ex, who I've been with for over 9 years is out of my life was too hard to understand and a too big lose to deal with, it was easier for me to mourn a relationship that never happened with a relatively new person then to morn a very long complicated relationship. I projected the sorrow and sadness for the big lose on the small loss.

Saying all that - I really don't think that giving up on this guy is a lose of a big love in your life, I think it feels like that because you are actually mourning the divorce and the lose of a bigger chunk of your life.

The fact of the matter is that you and the new guy don't want the same thing, going on sleeping with him and hoping you'll change him or that he'll change his mind is futile, you'll just get more and more hurt pretending you can deal with it. I know it hurts, but the best thing to do would be to not talk, see or meet this guy for a long long time and move on.  

Spend the next few months \ years in building yourself as an individual person and learn to be a happy single woman - that'll not only make you a happier, stronger person but will also insure that going into the next relationship a more equipped person that would avoid repeating the mistakes of the past.

It's really hard but it's really worth it.

First of all, I love Oron's answer and I love Lilly's advice and I want to add something. The confusing part about this relationship will be when you try to pull away because you are realizing that he is not looking for a relationship, he will hang around anyway. Oron thinks he will run away but in a lot of my experiences, even when they only want sex, they still hang around just in case you break down and decide to continue sleeping with them anyway. Usually, you will break down and you will ask the question: "Why won't he leave me alone, if he is not serious about me?" It's simple, why would a guy walk away from good sex?

You need to start weening yourself off of this guy by finding a less important unattached replacement. If you gradually pull your heart out of this thing, you may not feel as lonely when he's gone. Instead, you'll be ready to move on. 

Get yourself together, make sure you look hot everyday and go hunting for a new guy to hang out with...NO SEX or you'll find yourself sleeping with both guys simultaneously! 

Girl play with his head!! Act like you have other male interests but don't have sex with him!! Be reluctant to be his "convenient go-to-girl" Tell him you are going out with a new friend! It works!!