Here are a couple of points that occurred to me when I read your question.

People, for the most part, enjoy it when someone takes interest in what they have to say.  We all have egos to one extent or another, and when someone asks questions about what we have to say, it makes us feel that they are genuinely interested in us.  There is a difference however,between feeling that someone wants to clarify and feeling that someone is interrogating us.  My suggestion to you is that you find a book on a technique that is one of the first that professional therapists learn.   It is called active listening.  The perimeters are exact enough so that you will be able to stay in that place where people feel you are interested.

Best of Luck!

Elena