Is cohabitation prior to marriage harmful to the ...

In general, research has shown a higher divorce rate for those who cohabited before marriage.  It may be that the reason is that these people didn't really want to commit and so their bond was never strong.  However, as a family therapist, I would advise against cohabitation before marriage.  It is much more important to get to know each other as friends, to enjoy pleasant times with each other and look forward to seeing each other each time you meet.  Plunging into housekeeping removes the opportunity to really learn about each other before you make a commitment.  If it's a good match, you will have decades to enjoy that 24/7 togetherness!

I personally don't think cohabitation is a good idea before marriage. It's true you learn to know a person better after you've lived with them but I think it takes something away from the commitment of marriage. Marriage is more than deciding you want to spend your life with someone. It's also about learning new things about each other and building a home together.

You can call me a romantic but that's what I think. 

Don't ever believe in surveys. Cohabitation has nothing to do with the success or failure of marriage. Why are you asking?

drsavta, you are like a breath of fresh air. I have been expressing my disapproval to so many posts on Yedda concerning teen sex at age 14-16, problems with living together before marriage and fears that teen age girls they are pregnant. I have always had the feeling that I am in the tiniest minority living in the wrong century. It's refreshing to know there is at least one person out there who has the same healthy opinion as I. Thank you for this response.

I think co-habitation is the only way to go. I have learned more about men during the time that we lived together than when we had our own homes. We know the traits we possess that are unattractive to others and we hide them well or we don't recognize the patterns we repeat. I learned recently that when crisis hits, my love of my life can't handle the pressure and he flees. I also learned that because his father was always away working and his mom never complained, he feels it's acceptable to work all the time to escape responsibilities and issues in the relationship. In the past, he could always have just gone home. Was I supposed to wait until we were married for him to go out for a loaf of bread and never return? The average time a marriage lasts is 7 years. People don't stay in relationships when they aren't happy anymore. That co-habitation rule will end with the baby-boomers.