Fear of criticism

Hi Nadine May,

What exactly is your question regarding fear of criticism?

Most people don't enjoy a lot of criticism. Fear of it makes it even worse. Chiticism separates us from those who criticizer or from the group. It may make one feel they are wrong and others are right. It it is religious, it makes one feel like they are sinful and others are righteous, or that we are bad and they are good.  Note the theme involved here. You are disapproved of and they come out OK. The criticizer is always on the good side and you are always on the defective or losing side.

The heart of this problem is that there is a lack of self-esteem, self-acceptance,of knowing who you  are or what you are as a person. This takes time and growing until you reach a level of maturity so that  you can take a stand and say this is who I am regardless of what anyone says about or to me. I am what I am. Like it or get over it; I don't change to make people like me. I am a person and I have my beliefs and you have a right to disagree. We can be friends and disagree. This takes time and you may need to grow to get there, but this is your goal. Find friends who respect you for who you are. Talk to some of your friends one on one and when you can share some views and listen to them and discuss how friends can can still be friends and have different ideas; if they disagree, tell them you can't change all your ideas to please every friend that thinks different than you. Let them go and find new friends. You must be true to yourself to be mature and happy as a person; even in religious ideas.

I assure you of one thing, criticism will never cease. One has to learn to bear it; better yet, hopefully one will learn to use it to benefit one's life. I'm saying on the POSITIVE SIDE criticism is not necessarity a negative word. It means to critique or to evaluate something. Some so called criticism may offer some idea that you may realize has a element of truth and you can benefit by using it to better your life.

In daily life we use criticism to mean someone is speaking ill of us. Note that I am saying criticism can be negative or positive. First you need to grow and mature and come to know who you are so what one says will not shake you up or cause you to feel bad or alienated, or upset. You can take it with grain of salt as people say. Let the water of criticism roll off your back like a duck would do. Ever heard that expression? So grow my dear, and learn to face criticism. I'm for you all the way. Growing is good. Funguy.

Nadine, I think we all experience the fear of destructive criticism.  No one likes to feel like they did the job wrong when they gave it their best effort.  However, because we are human, and we all err, we are going to run into people who will critisize us.  Consider the criticism a stepping stone to learning a new approach.  Of course if someone is forever critical of your actions, etc., you don't have to associate yourself with that person.  There are folks who love to belittle others and there is no cause for it.  I agree with funguy, that you need to grow beyond the fear, and growing is good.  When you have to face criticism, remember that you are not the only one who has stood before someone and taken the same, and you won't be the last.

As traumatic as criticism is to you, listen to what is being said, and perhaps it will assist you in dealing with the criticism.  Being distraught just because you are being criticized tends to plug our ears and we lose track of what is being said.  It is very important to listen.  If the criticism happens on a daily basis, perhaps you are just dealing with a critical person.  Changing them can be a real chore.  Just pray, wear a smile and don't allow them the pleasure of winning by seeing your fear.

Don't b afrade: God & 1 person is a majority!