What do I do about my boyfriend. He is a Jealous ...

Hi Geraldine,
I read carefully your question and I read your very impressive notes (your personal description).... you must be a very special smart lady.  You mentioned that you are open to other ideas / thoughts so I'll be direct (no offence, please):  It is clear that you had good loving peacefull relations with your late husband..... and you miss him and the life / relations with him.... I bet that was one of the reasons you looked for a boyfriend.  Unfortunately you found a man that will never give you what you were looking....  He doesn't realize that your are not a teenager any more and he has an urge / need to be in constant control.... he feels he is your owner (not your partner) and he doesn't realize that you are a matured smart independent lady.....  his jealousy will "kill" you.   Now to the hard part: You have very slim chances to change him.  You can do it by deep open discussions (preferably guided / lead by experts).... personally I don't think it will work (sorry !) so my best advice is move on, painfull as it be, and find someone that  deserves you.  I bet a smart nice open lady like you will find "him" easily.
I truely wish you the best of luck (you deserve it)..... and give your dog a big hug (& a treat) from a dog lover far away over the ocean...... Promise ?

Hi, i have read both your question and the answer left for you. I respcetfully have to disagree with part of what OronD has said. I believe your new man may be suffering from a case of insecurity. He may be showing it in some other parts of his life also, like work or with other family members. It sounds like he may be afraid you will meet someone at the dog park you will like better then him, perhaps someone a little more like you late husband. I do agree that at this point in your life it is advisable to get out of the relationship and find someone with whom you can get along with better. Dont settle for someone who does not make you feel like you are 2 adults in a consenting relationship and instead treats you like a child that has to be watched. I say end it before it gets to involved and its harder to leave.

Well then don't get used to this guy. Seems to me like he wants to twist you around to his way of thinking, which controlling (and weak) guys like to do. Maybe he  senses some weakness in you right now, and if you can isolate what that is, you will more clearly see how to move on. Aren't relationships supposed to be fun for both people involved? Check out the "Veil of Ignorance" ethical test on this one. You deserve to be happy too, and it doesn't sound like that's working out too well about now.

Duuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmpppppp   hiiiiiiiimmmmmmm  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like you are still in love with your husband. You know its not that easy to get over somebody you love and its impossible to get over real love it never dies. you probably havent given yourself enough time to mourn and get use to life with just you. You are comparing your new man to your husband and im sure there is no comparison. Its best to let go and give yourself time before you really start to hate this new man. Because he might have his own good qualities but I think hes picking up on your distance and that might be the reason for his crazy jealousy. People feel what they cannot see by others actions and responses even if you havent told him. Give yourself time to say goodbye and heal then if your ready love will find you.

Hi Geraldine,

     I agree with OronD totally.  This man does not treat you right.  It's good that you are just dating.   The purpose of dating is to discern if you can put up with one's behavior.  You cannot change his behavior and the way he treats you even if you give him 20 years.  But you don't want to waste your precious time on that kind of person, you deserve a more respectful man, someone who you can enjoy with, a man who has more class than him.  He can never measure up  to your late husband.

     Well, just be patient in waiting for the right person.  Just pretend you are in a supermarket and shopping for the best fruit or vegetables.  Don't pick the rotten or the defective one,  it may take a little time to find  something appealing to you and does not have a lot of defects, or bruises.

    Good luck to you and keep your head up.