11 thumbs up

My bf recently broke up with me and we just got ...

My bf recently broke up with me and we just got back to work this week.,I have been avoiding him because I am not sure if he wants to see me and at the same time, I don't want to seem as if I am after him. I'm sure he is still upset and I don't want to make things more weird at work. So we are both avoiding each other, he barely says hi. What to do, should I try to speak to him or continue to ignore him. I also think that he is waiting to see if I approach him but I haven't and I'm not sure how to do it or if I should give him more time. He is a really great guy and I would like him to give me another chance without asking him in a pathetic way. He broke it off becasuse, he thought I did not have time for him and I was too afriad to tell him that I was really into him,  I did not want to risk exposing myself and then being rejected but I think, he needs to know how I feel about him but he might be too upset to talk.. What to do??????


Share Send to a friend Watch Report
 
 

Posted Answers

Order by
 
4 thumbs up

Dear, I think you'll have to the "risk" (I don't see as a risk) and tell him about your feelings. I just don't get- He thinks that you have no time for you, but you do have, and you just don't tell him?

I see no other solution other than having a serious talk with him.  


Posted 1 year ago ( permalink )
In reply to newyorka's question
Rated as
Best Answer
0
4

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
55 thumbs up

I think that the most important word and answer for you right now is: communicate.  I think that the work element definitely makes the situation more complicated, but I think that you really need to just be the bigger person, walk up to him and say "hey, let's go get coffee after work and talk... there are some things I want to say..." and you can go from there.  I think that if you still care about him and really want to give things another shot, then you need to just say that.  If you really like/love him, then you need to say that as well.  If he is feeling something different, at least you will know that you were honest.  Be confident in yourself and just say... "hello... how are you?" while passing him at work.  That's all you can do.  Then, work things out outside of work.  It sounds from what you've said that you had a pretty healthy relationship... so now you just need to establish together (you and him through talking) what makes sense for both of you, what to do next.  I hope this helps.  Good luck.


Posted 1 year ago ( permalink )
In reply to newyorka's question
Rated as
#3 out of 4
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 

I think that in many times we miss on really amazing opportunities in life because we are so scare to appeare vulnerable. Actually we prefer in many case to be vulnerable and look all tough on the outside, then be really tough inside to the point of letting the vulnerability show.

It seem to me like this kind of behavior is what got you into this mess in the beginning - you were afraid to let the guy know you are into him, so you sort of played hard to get to the point of him giving up on you - and now, by being scared to "come out as pathetic" you are actually preventing yourself from having a chance with this guy.

Lets say he's not interested in giving you a second chance - which is, I guess the worst of your fears, then the worst that happens is that you found out where things are right now and can get on with recovery from the hearbreak and move on.

I think you have a lot to gain here and very little to loose aside maybe a chance little bit of ego hurt. 

I suggest that instead of avoiding him at work or talking to him at work, give him a call one day and set a meeting in a neutral place and just talk about your feelings honestly and as openly as you can - whether he accept or reject you - at least you'll know where you are at.


Posted 1 year ago ( permalink )
In reply to newyorka's question
Rated as
#4 out of 4
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
314 thumbs up

A healthy relationship starts with trust and honesty and a big warm genuine smile.
 

There is a lot of good advice here. I would just like to add that although you think asking for another chance is pathetic, the truth is it would be even sadder if you did not tell this guy your true feelings. A good way to start is by saying hello to him at work, instead of avoiding him (as this can be seen as a little childish). You could call him or even send him an email asking him if you and he could talk one day after work as there is a lot of unfinished business that you would like to clear up with him.

I am curious though, is it possible though that the guy had some legitimate concerns about your availability? I mean, was there something specific that he mentioned when he broke things off? It's quite possible that this was only a misunderstanding due to a lack of communication. If that is the case, it's more than likely he will give you a second chance.

Good luck.


Posted 1 year ago ( permalink )
In reply to newyorka's question
Rated as
#2 out of 4
0
2

Helpful?

line
line
line



Sign in to participate

Got an answer for newyorka? Would you like to comment on the posted answers, or vote for the one which you think is the best?

Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).

Explore Related Questions

Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:


What's the best way to tell your boss, who is ...

What's the best way to tell your boss, who is great, that you can't be perfect in your job? For example, part of my job is to ...
Submitted by jewbaca 8 months ago
  • viewed 584 times

Last answer posted 8 months ago by HEYNOW


Can anyone answer this?

My man of 9 years left me for this woman he met. He has never done any kind of drugs and is totally against them. He met her the ...
Submitted by Goodbyegal 16 days ago
  • viewed 149 times

Last answer posted 9 days ago by Goodbyegal


It's a man thing

Why is it supposed to be okay if a man looks at magazines and webites that are full of naked women. My boyfriend says it is ...
Submitted by Jarrattgirl 9 months ago
  • viewed 1049 times

Last answer posted 1 month ago by DB Lady



» More...

Explore Related Posts in Forums

Ideas for coping with breakups and post-traumatic stress

Ok... this is the "how to deal with a breakup and all the shit that comes with it" thread. An old the high road and find someone 10x hotter then her. Breakups can be terrible situations...

Taking Breaks in Relationships?

What are your opinions on taking breaks in relationships? Do they ever have positive outcomes feelings but I don't really know if it's fair to him or if it will destroy our relationship. He's my first

Breakup Advice

Breakups are hard. I know that. Everyone knows that. But I didn't not know they would be this hard motion of things is entropy - the relationship that works is the exception, ...
» More...
Powered by