I took some parenting classes with a woman named Lea Statman, and she taught "respectful parenting" and her teenage boy rode a unicycle, worked as a clown, paid his own way to go to a special farm in Vermont for the summer, loved and respected his siblings and parents, so I believe there is a good and bad way to parent and there are measures of success. the confidence of your child is your meter- the little light inside needs to be protected and fostered.
Risk looking bad in public to do what you know in your heart is the correct responce to your child-- when others say, you are spoiling, you will make him a wimp, you are suffocating, you are too permissive.. you can listen and consider, but make some decisions about following your own inner voice, no matter what society says, this will increase your confidence, and always respect your child like you would another person of great importance, even when they are upset, or especially then.