Laws In New York state that you must have grounds to divorce. In his first set of papers his grounds were cruel and inhuman treatment the second is constructive abanoment. Since then he had to drop his claim of contructive abandonment because it is untrue. As far a cruel and inhuman treatment untrue as well. Its not that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone that does not love me LOL. There is a lot more to the story. We have been together for over 21 years have two childrean and still live together as husband and wife. When I say live as husband and wife I mean that in every aspect. We attend all family functions together on my side of the family, go out to dinner ,have pincnics at the beach at night and still have a active sex life. It is my belief that he is in a mist of a midlife change : ) 80% of the time things are good. Another detail is 5 years ago I filed for divorse not because I didnt want to marriedbecause I felt that I had to protect myself from some diructive things that he was doing. I withdrew my petion for divorce for many reasons. First I didnt know I could, my laywer never told me I could. We were going in the diration of a trial a very costly trial. The day I withdrew my petion he meet with his laywer to file. He requested to his laywer not to serve me untill he heard from him giving the go ahead. several months later I was served. He states he never gave the goahead. Regaurdless the point of me posting here is there seems to be very little info on the web for this situation. At this point I have no laywer because I can pay for one. He has a laywer....... same one from our first case. It is my believe that the Judge will dimiss this case because of lack of proff. If he wants a divorse because he longer wants to be married that is fine. But in New York you have to have truthful grounds or you have to file for a seperation and live apart for one year. Like I said we still live and act as husband and wife at this time as well as the last 21 years. I will not agree to grounds that are untrue. And I will not distroy my childrean life. Sometimes. Okay this is long winded. The question is the same how do I move forward to stop this using the right paper work.