Please give me some advice

I feel for you. You are in a real tough spot. My first thought is that for you, time alone should be used to recover from the obvious emotional trama you are experiencing. I would not fight against untrue beliefs that have been introduced into the minds of your two sons. It may take the rest of your life to prove your true self to other people but you should do it without expectation almost as if you dont care what they think about you. Be yourself, try to practice being calm when you are around them. Focus on the grandchild. Give (him/her) and the other future grandchildren love and enjoy them when you have them in your life. Honestly if all you say is true, I feel sorry for all of them. I hope that some of this helps.

Kenseth 17,

I am examining your question and decided that there are alot of things (behind the scene) that you really can't go into. However, looking at your last questions, it appears that some counseling would be in order. It appears that you (as all of us do) have a selfish streak. I think you may have been selfless when you allowed your kids to live with their father and I commend you. However, it sounds like there were other issues that helped you make that decision. As a Christian man, I can never condone divorce under most circumstances. However, if he really cheated on you with your best friend then you have the right to a divorce, child support & possibly alimony. So if you work and had all of this outside income?Money, should have never been an issue. I don't think you are being honest with yourself or others.

Once you have obtained spiritual healing from God's word and a counselor, i think you will be in a great position to offer the truth to your children. However, you might not even need to discuss the past with your children. As a parent, I have decided (according to my children's age) when they were ready for certain conversations. There were other conversations that I felt I could avoid, because they will eventually see the truth as they got older. My goal was to be truthful if they asked my a question, give them guidance regardless of the consequences, never buy their love, but show them LOVE that was selfless & self sacraficing, be a parent 1st and a best friend second and to have faith that when they get older, all of what I/we taught them will make since.

Get healing for yourself, work on being the best you and express your LOVe for them without expecting anything in return. With that said, if any of your children disrespect you, then they need to go>>>>>. Period.

Ephesians 6: 2-3 "Honor they father & monther", which is the 1st commandment with promise.

Stay strong. God bless you ad good luck...

Best regards,

Douglas Jarmon-(Investigator 4 LOVE)                                             Corinthian Group:Private Investigation & Personal Protection/PI# 23070

http://Investigate4You.com

Sounds like its been many years that they have been hearing bad things about you. Its a sad situation. But I would talk to him and tell him how you feel. Perhaps he still doesnt see how he was munipulated through the years. I think you all need to get some type of help. And if they dont, you need to for yourself. Its frustrating, and you feel hurt, and disrespected. They have been brainwashed. Unfortunately, this happens when people split up and familys are combined. I know we love our children no matter what they do, but its time to talk, he is now a grown man. If they choose to treat you the same, you need to set up some rules. A child is on the way, and how will they teach the child to treat you. Find someone to talk to. They should not disrespect you, but you have allowed it for to long, so its up to you to change it now.

Wow, pretty serious ...

I think you need the clearify things with them. For the past couple of years they have been hearing one side of the story did they ever hear yours? It's tough I am sure , go out with them to a place they like , explain to them that what happened with you and their father doesn't mean a thing about how you feel for them. You are still their mother and you still want to do whatever you can for them and watch them grow and be a good grandmother if nedded. Hear them out there is always two sides to a story I think they are grown up enough to have this conversation. 

Good Luck. 

My first thought Is STOP putting all the blame else where. I'm not saying that you have to carry all the blame but many years have passed  You can't go back and change them. Your children are now part of your life stop trying to convince them of anyones elses wrong doing. Love them now! Admit and Apologize for YOUR mistakes but stand your ground and don't allow yourself to be abused. At 21 with a baby on the way your son will hopefully be doing some growing up and maturing, let him sort out his own issues with you in his own time. Pray for Peace among you.  God Bless