the age of these children really dictates how to approach this situation. if very young, they won't really know the difference yet. if pre-teens, it's difficult enough being a kid these days, let alone dealing with this kind of change, so i would just tend to relax a little on the parenting part and work on the trust and closeness of this relationship. sit down with your boyfriend and talk about it because he is obviously in the same boat and may have these feelings to. or take his lead on how he deals with your kids and go with that