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Worse sex life!!!!!!

my husband and i share deep love for each other but our sex life is not good at all,my husband does not tell the reason why he's not coming to me or does talk about it, waht should i do?? i tried talking,arguing and what not ..but it doesnt work...we have been married for 5 years now and since 2 years our sex life is struggling and now it has grown worse..i am getting depressed...mainly not knowing the cause...thats hurting our emotional life real bad.i need true suggestions please...


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8219 thumbs up

Love is the battery of life....

Hi,


I was sorry to read it.  I'll take the liberty to be open with you, so no offence please.  Sorry, I don't "buy" it ! - You can't "share deep love for each other" and have a poor / bad / "struggling.... and got worse...." sex to a point you get depressed......  it is contradicting..... it's like saying: "I love that glass so I break it..... ".   It seems to me that your communication is poor (If you can't find out what is the real reason).  Sure you have to find out what is the reason..... If that's the situation after 5 years of marriage (actually 5-2 !) what will be after 20.... 30.... "will you still love me when I'm 64 ?"......  There are several possible reasons (no offence please): 
1.  He has someone else.
2.  He has some medical problem. 
3.  Mid-age crises.
4.  Hormone problems.
5.  Major problem that bothers him (Work, children,
     financial, parents, business, boss, ......)
6.  Psychological problems (is he depressed ?).
7.  How are your relations ? Does he loves you ?
     Do you love him ?.
8.  Can he be gay ? (sorry, but it's an option !!!). 
Somewhere between the lines you'll find the answer...... once you know it, beter attend to it..... It's very important and if you don't attend to it it might "kill" your marriage.  How about a marriage counselor ? or a sexolosist ?. 
Best regards,

Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to sadspouse's question
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It not healthy for you to argue all the time as it obviously is damaging your relationship as well as your sex life, you want to talk to him calmly… we all want our men to be mind readers but unfortunately life isn’t that easy. You want to find what makes him click, what his fantasies are and fulfil them!! And you probably up having more fun than he is!! I know its hard talking to him about this because you don’t want to accidentally hurt is pride and fillings BUT I assure you if you don’t it will cause more problems further down road and I believe he’s feeling exactly the same as you are but both of you are to obviously scared to talk to each other cause your probably worried what you both mite come out with. The Get him to tell how he feeling

5 years is a long time so you got to fight for IT!! When to people are in a relationship for a long period of time sex starts to become routine instead fill with passion!! , have you very considered games?? To add more excitement and thrill in the relationship. Or if that doesn’t work have both of you ever considered seeing a counsellor or sex therapist? I hope any of this helps good luck! ;) x


Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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No wonder you feel depressed: married for only 5 years, with a substantial sexual activity problem for the past 3. When a "high sex drive" partner (you) is married to one with a "lower sex drive" then real matrimonial problems can occur and fester. When women are deprived of enough sex they often suffer from resentment, frustration, anger, and low self-esteem. The big problem is that the "low sex drive" partner is unlikely to alter his frequency and desire for intercourse with you over time, unless there is a treatable underlying medical problem (eg depression), a psychological issue (eg erectile dysfunction), or if he takes medications (such as for high blood pressure or depression).

 

Sexual issues are a major factor in eventual major matrimonial dissatisfaction. The fact that you are fighting over sex, and such arguements can become quite bitter and personal, suggests that you could well benefit from marriage guidance counseling, to clarify the long-term outlook for sexual gratification in you marriage. Afterall, you love each other dearly, so it's worth the effort!


Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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SKIPTON was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Seriously, try watching some good quality porn together, this can spice up some ideas and make things much more exiting. Also suprise him with kinky ideas. He may think that your tamer than you are. Also try the herbal remedy maca, great for energy exercise and sex life (both male and female) seriously maca is amazing I love love it, and not just for sex. good luck


Posted 10 months ago ( permalink )
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diddywhat was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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Spice it up with some sex toys there is such a wide variety of them you can surprise him with one every month.


Posted 9 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to sadspouse's question
zulul was invited by Yedda to answer this question.