Woman in thirties fights fears to achieve college degree success, seeks success stories, inspiration, advice

For my B.A.,  I took a leave of absence just shy of graduation (at 21), worked full-time, then returned to take the remaining few classes 8 years later. I then earned a master's degree via online classes. Some things I learned that may be helpful:

First, be proud of yourself! Being an older student, you have a maturity that many of your younger peers might envy. When I returned to school, I had more realistic expectations of how to use my time, and I wish I could have told my younger self how important it is to not cut class, take good notes, leave enough time to prepare for the next class, and other things that just come naturally now.

Second, there aren't special requirements for older students. Your professors may realize your potential and encourage you to go beyond the minimum for assignments, but nobody expects you to write a dissertation for a class paper.

Third, I found that professors were fairly reasonable about "life demands" (spouse, kids, etc.) that older students had to deal with. If you know at the beginning of a semester that you'll have to miss a class because of say, parent-teacher conferences, let the instructor know.

Fourth, make a deliberate effort to stay involved in class community. Online classes, especially, can be fairly isolating -- so if possible, make an effort to get to know people. (Maybe there's someone else nearby also enrolled in class?) This doesn't mean you have to stay up all night with the younger folks -- you're 30, not 17 -- but don't just be an email address or chat handle. You may even find some of the younger students looking up to you and seeking you out for wisdom.

In my master's program, I was one of the younger students -- many folks were pursuing the degree as a second career. It was great to have their perspectives and insight. 

Finally, a caveat: verbalize the phrase "...but that's not how it is in real life" sparingly, even if it's true.

Good luck!

Well, I don't know about advices, but I can tell you what my opinions are:

First of all, I think that though the fear is not likely to disappear, it'll be really cool if you could also let yourself feel very proud. I think it takes a lot of courage to go back to school and that it's amazing that you are doing it, no matter how small your step is ( and I don't think it's small at all) wanting a better future for yourself and taking practical step to make it happened is amazing.  Reading about your struggle made me feel very warm toward you, even though I don't know you.

Second, I think it's very important to understand that the world has changed a lot in the past few decades workwise - in the past people learned a profession and just stuck to it and the same work place through their entire life and that was that, but now a lot of people change jobs and profession several times in their lives and so, they go to school in different times in their lives. I know you probably feel like it's you and a huge group of 18 years old, but I'm sure that if you'll enter a university class, you'll discover a lot of people your age and older.

Third, I think it's also important to remember that you are coming to this degree much better prepared then the average student - from working at that profession,  you have  knowledge, experience and confidence that an 18 year old can only dream of. plus, just from being a grown up you have work moral, healthier learning habits and an ability to know the difference between what's important and what's not. I did my degree when I was very young - I started at 20, which in Israel is extremely early, I think that if I studied now instead of back then I could have use those classes and that time in a much more productive way. 

It's not going to be easy - not because you are older then some of the student, but because studying  for a degree is always hard and stressful. I think one of the best thing to do is find some other people that are studying the same thing - both for comparing notes and studying together for exams, but also to have someone who know what you are going through to share your feeling with. 

How about you help me figure out how to get over my fear of screwing up AGAIN, at 40, and I'll try to help you get over your fear of starting fresh? :-)

Honestly, you're doing this at a great time, as others have said. I won't go over what they've said. "Non-traditional" students aren't unusual at all now, especially in online classes! I just switched to online classes myself fall semester, and I love them.

Considering what you've already achieved in your life, I'm wondering why you'd be so afraid of this? You've already developed self-discipline - you must have. You know yourself, far more than any 18 or 19-year-old could. You know why you're attending school, and what you want to do with that degree, right? You must be pretty motivated!

And if I can FINALLY be finishing up my BA now, after starting at 17 and being in school off and on over 23 years, I am 100% sure that you CAN do this. I dropped out and gave up a National Merit Scholarship to put husband #1 through school. We divorced and I tried to return to school, then had to drop out again because of work and health issues. I went back again a couple of years ago, but have struggled constantly with health stuff and had to totally drop all of my classes in early 2005 because of them, and I felt like a total failure.

When my daughter decided to try high school this fall after being homeschooled for the last five years, I was so lonely that I tried one more time. My current school splits things up so that you take a full load, but semesters are split up into two 8-week sessions, with only two classes per 8-week session. I don't know why, but I find it easier to deal with things that way. (I have some cognitive issues due to my disability, and switching gears between two subjects seems to work better than four!)

With a LOT of support from my life partner and daughter, I've got a 4.0 so far. The first 8-week session was hellish, but 1) I had my first math class in over 20 years, and it was statistics (yipes! I have a math phobia!); 2) they were face-to-face, rather than online, so I was so exhausted just from GETTING to class that I was hardly conscious DURING class; and 3) it WAS my first term back in school and I was adjusting to a new school that was way different from any that I'd attended in the past. But I still got all As! (Okay - I have OCD, too - I can't handle anything but all As, so I nearly put myself into a health tailspin getting those silly As.)

If someone who is older than you, has a mind like the finest sieve, and who has failed at this college thing (mumbledy mumble) times can do it now, YOU CAN TOO. 
Don't be silly git like me and have nonsensical expectations of yourself - Bs are totally cool. In fact, passing at whatever grade you need to get to keep any financial aid or other assistance you might have, or to meet whatever goals YOU have set FOR YOURSELF, is all you have to do!

So pace yourself, be good to yourself, and give yourself time to adjust to this new thing. Remember that you need time for the things you did before AND school AND fun!

Good luck :-)