This is a tough one and I hate the fact that you and your children are going through this.  I am actually typing this with tears in my eyes.  You have to use 'tough love' in this matter.  There's no other way because it's manifested into something horrible.  I would speak to a lawyer first and foremost as he/she would be able to tell you the proper steps to follow in order to get this settled quickly.  Just as the other writer suggested, maybe you should consider having her committed.  It sounds harsh...maybe you have considered it in the past, but I think you should at least find out what you need to do to have that done.  Also getting power of attorney so that you would be in sole control over financies, the house, etc.  At least a judge would see that you have done all you could to get her help and save your marriage.  I feel ike if you stay in this marriage, you will not have a savings.  You'll lose who you are.  I sincerely hope that things work out in your favor.  I will pray for you and keep your family in my thoughts.  Take care.