First of all, wow, I didnt expect so many thoughtful and encouraging responses. So I want to thank all to whom have written. Ok, here goes nothing...
I would be more than willing to take a look at the website and get the books. We made a sort of deal that she would do the laundry and I would take the kitchen area. Not just throw the dishes in the washer and forget about them either. lol Zachary will be 6 in July. The ADD has made it difficult for him to concentrate on helping around the house but he is getting better about it the older he gets.
Jessica works for a company that is Goverment contracted. She helps with the networking of computers for UAV's (Unmaned Air Vehicles) for the Army. I was in the Army for 9 years by the way. She always said she loved me for my uniform. I said WAS in the military so I dont wear the uniform anymore, one of the reasons I am wondering if she is just not interested in me since I have been home.
I have always heard that a relationship is 50/50. I cant remember where or when I heard it...A relationship is 100/100. I agree with that soo much more. I dont think she should do ALL of the work. The last two times the living room, kitchen/dining room/, and bathrooms (her's and mine that I share with Zach and Syd) were cleaned I did it by myself. And I really dont mind it either. The house should stay clean for sanitary reasons and just to be clean. I dont even like watching sports on tv. The only way I want to watch a sport is being on the sidelines waiting to get in and play.
The last time we went on a "vacation" was on one of her friend's wedding. We went to Florida for 6 days, with the kids. I dont know how much you would consider that a vacation. I would love to take her on a cruise or something like that. She just started this new job a few months ago. She travels with it too. New York, Washington St, places like that. So her schedule is very tentative.
I will try my hardest to be patient and yes, I will keep you posted. Thank you again DB. Very much.
Angelkiss,
Whether you want to believe this or not, I do not consider myself like most men. I have even been told this! So the generalization of "you men" is unagreeable to me. Sorry. Anyways, I do understand that she is under stress with the bills, work, the house, me! That is why I dont! push or ask everynight. Its not just! the sex people! Its her interest in me! Its not why isnt she having sex with me all of the time. What is wrong with me that she isnt interested in being around me? Our little routine, that I know probly all of you will say, "You need to change your routine then.", is we go to work. I work at the daycare Syd goes to by the way. I pick up Zach at the bus stop, get Syd, go home, wait for Jess to get home, we figure out what we want for dinner...take out...I cook or she does...we all eat, she goes in the bedroom plays on her laptop and watches tv, I am in the living room watching the tv, playing XBOX, playing with or reading to the kids or Im on here talking with friends. We have become distant for some reason and I would love! to know if its me. I dont know if its because we spent time away from each other when I was deployed or she just wants to do her own thing or what?
Maybe its just me, but I have always thought sex was a stress reducer. I could be wrong of course. Now getting intimate I can understand if she really needs to unwind and be relaxed. But when the kids finally get to sleep she is too tired or sleeping too. With that said, get a night without the kids right? Been done. The last time we had a night together without the kids was on her birthday. A few weekends ago. Went out with her friends, sister and brother-in-law. Had a great time. Went back to the hotel room. We slept, woke up, I brought up some breakfast while she layed in bed watching tv, we left, got the kids and came home.
Its not just a why arent we having sex anymore. That is part of it sure. But its like we dont have a connection like we used to.
Random thought here. She smacks me on the ass just as much as I do to her. She will open her arms and walk towards me. Our heads turn to rest on each others' shoulders. I dont immediately grab for her backside either. I will rub her back and give her a nice squeeze. We lift our heads and give each other a peck, or sometimes more, and say I love you, then part doing whatever we were going to do. Even better sometimes if she is feeling down for whatever reason, she will come in and she will kinda lay ontop of me on my recliner. We embrace and again I will rub her back and or kiss her on the head. Im not some insensitive jerk macho dude or else I probly wouldnt be on here.
Just got off of the phone with her. Im going to a visitation tonight and I am suposed to pick up my dad and step-mom. Her mother died. So Jess and I talked about picking up the kids, I will take them to her which is on the way. I wont get there on time doing it this way but its what she wanted to do so I was sticking with it. "You are not going to get there on time if we do this." It was her plan so I told her it was what she wanted to do so i was sticking with it. It feels like I cant do anything right.
Vacation! Sounds like a plan. No stress, no kids, no sex. We will give it a shot when we can find someone to take care of the kids, have enough money and time. Do I sound frustrated?
Deep breath...Again, I wholeheartedly am thankful for any and all replies to my plea thus far and in the future.