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Wedding Reception Etiquette

WE have a catering business.  Bartender brought daughter to wedding reception, it was her birthday and nowhere else for her to go.  Bride very upset the 11 year old is in pictures on dance floor with flower girl and in reception video.  Guests had no objection but bride said she was unruly and it was hard for my coordinator to keep her behind the scenes when she was working.  Bride said we should have addressed this issue since it was an adult only wedding and reception.  It never happened before.  Bride is saying bartender was accepting tips and that reimbursement should be made because her guests had to pay daycare for their children to come to the function.  What is my response?


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Jay
4463 answers
1268 helpful answers

Glass sculpture, Chihuly at Grant's Farm; http://www.chihuly.com

Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.

Greg-

I believe that you need to go to the bride and do the mea culpa. Find out what it will take to mollify her beyond admission of a mistake and asking for forgiveness.

THEN, you need to deal with the bartender that you hired.

You might want to get some input from the coordinator before speaking with the bride.

I have no idea about bartenders and tips, other than in bars. Is it routine that they receive tips?

And what about the groom and both parental units. Are they up in arms, too. Or is it just the bride that is overly cranky?

Some advice and some things to consider.

JayR
Posted 2008-08-09T22:07:23Z
Helpful?(2)
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2 answers
1 helpful answer

Have already checked with all staff that were at the reception.  All said the same thing, that the little girl was not obnoxious.  She was at the wrong place at the wrong time through no fault of her own.  Bartenders are deserving of tips at most catering events.  Bride is receiving input from someone and we think it is the mother.  Have not had input from groom or others.  Bride is a school teacher.  She made a comment in the letter she wrote that this was the most expensive day in her life.  Enough said, I guess.  Thank you for your input.
Posted 2008-08-10T01:41:01Z
Helpful?(1)
Rated #3 out of 3
 
Jay
4463 answers
1268 helpful answers

Glass sculpture, Chihuly at Grant's Farm; http://www.chihuly.com

Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.

Greg-

It sounds like the bride has not bought a house.

Wrote you a letter?!?!

This is probably apropos of nothing, but a Billy Joel song just flashed thru my brain.

You May Be Right Lyrics

Friday night I crashed your party
Saturday I said I'm sorry
Sunday came and trashed me out again
I was only having fun
Wasn't hurting anyone
And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change

I've been stranded in the combat zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I'm insane

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

Remember how I found you there
Alone in your electric chair
I told you dirty jokes until you smiled
You were lonely for a man
I said take me as I am
'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awhile

Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to satisfy you
I might be as crazy as you say
If I'm crazy then it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
It's too late to fight
It's too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right

I hope things turn out well for you here.

JayR
Posted 2008-08-10T01:57:37Z
Helpful?(2)
Rated as Best Answer

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