Originated from
AOL.com

Washington STate divorce / child custody

Washington state divorce /custody hearing

Can the judge really tell me I am unable to have a

relationship with a man while sharing custody of my daughter? He also stated that I must remain working full time. My ex husband has a live in girlfriend, I cant believe I must remain single for 7 years?? This seems crazy. They also stated I cannot "see" any man that has any alcohol related charges EVER, people make mistakes and recover from them, telling me I'll never be able to co-habitate nor date is beyond the realm of normalcy. HELP
  • 149 views
Share Send to a friend Watch Report
 
 

Posted Answers

Order by
 
66 thumbs up

If you can't handle the truth, why bother to ask the question?

Hmmm...I feel we are not getting the whole story here.  NO...I have never heard of a judge telling someone they cannot have a relationship for the remainder of their child's childhood.  Nor would it be something that could be enforced.  Now...he could tell you not to have a relationship during the divorce, or custody hearings, or during a period of time.  This may be so the court can determine if you are willing to put "romance" on hold for the sake of your child.  Usually, your attorney will tell you that.  There is obviously much more to this story since you also state that you must remain gainfully employed and can't see anyone with alcohol related problems.  But why would a judge tell you not to date 'anyone' and then tell you not to date a man with alcohol charges.  It sounds to me like you have already dated someone with alcohol issues/charges and that situation is being corrected by the court.  People do make mistakes and can recover from them but the court is interested in the well being of the child and obviously someone with an alcohol problem is NOT inthe child's best interest. 

Here's a question for you...why are you being "told to work full time?"  It also sounds like you may have not been working and may be unable to support your child. 

Honestly, unless you can supply further details, it sounds to me like YOU have some issues that the court is addressing.  Maybe you have been in more than one relationship and the court doesn't see stability.  In the event that a person skips from one man to another, or gets involved with someone the court considers unfit, in a CUSTODY CASE, the judge can and will ask that you refrain from a romantic relationship.  That is so your focus is on your child/ children.  It can't be enforced by jail time but the court can remove your mutual custody and give custody to the other parent. 

I think you need to step back and carefully consider what the court is asking of you if you value the joint custody you now share.  I know someone who was in a similiar situation and she lost custody of her children.  In her case she would go from guy to guy, could not hold a job, and the judge asked that she not date, get a full time job and remain employed and show that she could, in fact provide a stable environment for her children.  He then reset the hearing for 6 months later, giving her 6 months to "get it together".  She continued to date, failed to find employment and had the attitude that the court was NOT going to tell her what to do.  She lost custody, was ordered to pay child support, and given visatation.  She was however able to continue dating and didn't have to get a job.  Think about this carefully and decide where your priorities lie.  You have much to lose.


Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
Best Answer
0
4

Helpful?

line
line
line



 

Thanks so much for your input.  Honestly in the 4 years my ex and I had been seperated I had two boyfriends, both long term and yes one did have a problem in his past with alcohol but has been sober and attending AA for over 5 years now. My focus is my child, which is why I've been in a battle for over a year and spent over 20,000 so far in atty fees.  I was a stay at home mother all through my marriage and then worked with my ex boyfriend selling real estate, due to the custody battle and the GAL's requirements, I got a full time job in October and am making a good living on my own, I also rented a nice duplex on my own, where my 15 year old son and I live, my daughter also has her own bedroom there as well.  I raised two boys whom are well adjusted and high achievers.  The thing is I really could use help and my current boyfriend whom has been beside me throughout this custody battle over the last year has offered to move in with me, rent his home out and help with my expenses (due to this battle)  Now I can no longer see him, of course there is no question that I would choose my daughter over a lover, I just cant believe I have to choose.  Of course abstaining from alcohol is not a problem for me, I rarely have a drink, but in the same respect I should be allowed to have a glass of wine if I so choose, I have no background or alcohol related problems whatsoever, and the judge did state that during his decision reading.  I guess the best thing is to just grin and bear it, enjoy my daughter and then file a modification in 6 months??


Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to jada_lynne's answer
Rated as
#2 out of 4
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
66 thumbs up

If you can't handle the truth, why bother to ask the question?

Having all the facts sure makes the picture clearer!  From what you say, I don't see a problem.  I don't know why a judge would ask of you what this judge is asking.  Unfortunately, you may have to grin and bear it.  And find a different attorney!  I know this would be a great cost and may not be possible, but if you can then I would.  The one other thing I can think of is this;  if you think you are being treated unfairly, ask for a change of venue.  That means your case would be moved to another court. 

I wish you luck.  I hate to see someone doing the right thing and working hard at life being treated this way.  Good luck! 


Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
Rated as
#3 out of 4
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 

I've decided to grin and bear it, unfortunately the expense of having another trial is too great at this time.  I guess in 6 months I'll request a modification and hope that things will be changed then.  Thanks again!


Posted 2 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to jada_lynne's answer
Rated as
#4 out of 4
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



Sign in to participate

Got an answer for angelwings4me? Would you like to comment on the posted answers, or vote for the one which you think is the best?

Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).

Explore Related Questions

Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:


My girlfriend has very low self esteem. She thinks ...

My girlfriend has very low self esteem. She thinks that she is going to loose me to another girl. She also does not trust guys ...
Submitted by horseshaven222 11 months ago
  • viewed 1552 times

Last answer posted 15 hours ago by angeleyes


How much do I mean to him?

I have been dating a guy for a year now and we rarely see each other due to his long hours. What I want to know is why doesn't he ...
Submitted by Blessed4LIife 11 months ago
  • viewed 968 times

Last answer posted 17 days ago by Equus


Why does Barbara get everyone on Earth to spy on me if she's through with me?

My dream jeaine won't do anything but go from not talking to me for 3 years to using, everyone fron fake realtors, to fictious ...
Submitted by MeeKail 10 months ago
  • viewed 490 times

Last answer posted 10 months ago by wachovia07



» More...

Explore Related Posts in Forums

  • Custody Modification in Washington

    ... decree filed in Washington state. Divorce filed in 2001, parents declined to go the attorney route plans. Physical custody of children was spelled out in divorce papers only because parents surmised - more...

» More...

Powered by:

Omgili
Feed - Subscribe to changes to this Q&A Blog