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Violence in a family

what do you do when you are from a family of violent siblings .Everytime we get together its either arguments or fighting. Do you walk away from your family to avoid the violence.Because there is my Mom and a couple of siblings that are not.We always have come together at my mom where the violence take place.Can,t take it any longer its taking a toll on me mentally.


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Conflict resolution
Conflict resolution


Family arguments are a fact of life. Often, things are said in arguments that can damage feelings. This can cause a member of the household to harbor resentment. To completely avoid conflict is unrealistic, but resolving conflict peacefully is achievable. By having weekly or monthly "house meetings" in which all conflict can be vented in a healthy atmosphere, families can bring resolution and restore order after arguments. You merely need to follow some guidelines in setting up such a meeting...
1
Inform the family that there needs to be a meeting to address some concerns and open lines of communication. Ask family members to pick a day and time that is most compatible with their schedule, and which shows consideration of other members of the household.


  • Step 2
    Once a time and place are agreed upon by each family member, use the first meeting to set healthy guidelines for positive communication. If you respect each other's boundaries, the meeting is sure to start off on the right foot.

  • Step 3
    Assign a key speaker for every meeting, either by choosing the eldest member of the household or by taking turns. The key speaker should always take a neutral position.

  • Step 4
    Establish speaking intervals, in which a person has a set time to speak, such as 1 to 3 minutes. Keeping a stopwatch running will prevent arguments from escalating.

  • Step 5
    Be prepared for each house meeting with a pen and a family journal, or some other volume in which to keep notes of the family's conflict resolutions. You can use this journal at later meetings, to address persistent, recurring conflicts.

  • Tips & Warnings

    • Remember to remind all family members of the house meeting; opening the lines of communication is an act of love and an effort of the heart, which is really what family is all about. For added fun, try playing a board game after every meeting.

    • Learn to get to the resolution. Rehashing old arguments is useless; try to stay on topic by talking about the present dilemma and how it can resolved. Name-calling is vulgar and hurtful. If arguments result, it is really verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is harmful to people, and should end before it starts. Just walk away.GOOD LUCK

Posted 2009-09-20T16:50:47Z
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