Dear cchaffin, I read Lori's answer, it was good. I have few questions. Is his ex-girlfriend your friend as well & how do you know what he actually says to her? I mean does your husband tell you or does she? This is NOT good. I assume you're both young & haven't been married long. We all have boundaries in our relationships that only we alone can define. In my marriage of 34 yrs., this would not have been tolerated the first month of our marriage or even last month. However I've lived a lot of life, in observing people all these yrs. I've come to realize that everyone has their own limits, their own understanding of what is considered crossing the line & what isn't. Can you live with this & still feel good about your marriage? Personally, even if it didn't bother you, your husband is showing absolutely no maturity or respect for you & your marriage. You DO NOT share, vent, tell, dicuss, etc. such personal matters as this between a married couple with an ex! That's all there is to it. Your husband needs some guy friends to pal around with where he can do his "venting" whenever he feels the need. But to be perfectly honest, most men don't vent, that's usually something only women do. I find it interesting he refers to this as venting. It almost sounds as if he runs to a safety net when he feels he's in trouble or stressed out where he knows he'll get emotionally stroked. And that my dear should only come from you. If this woman is supposed to be your friend as well, she'd turn him away from her door, telling him to go home to his wife. And if she isn't a friend of yours, she should respect your marriage enough to still turn him away. I don't want to have anything to do with hurting your marriage or add fuel to this fire. But this man has got to grow up & understand what a complete insult this is to you & even his own marriage. And he must stop. I know what I'd do, but you're not me, & my way of handling this may cause even more problems for you & your husband. The logical thing to do is to visit the girl sometime when your husband isn't around & lay it all on the table for her, explaining how this makes you feel, adding that you would greatly appreciate it if she would begin to turn your husband away if this happens again. Go in a peaceful mode, be calm, collected, & very observant. And above all, be polite, regardless to how she may react. Very possibly she may tell you that she has no control of what your husband does or does not do. That is when you remind her that she has control over who comes into her home or speaks to on the phone. Put the ball back in her court, don't let her get away with trying to cop out of her share of the responsibility. You will be able to learn much by her reaction, choice of words, & entire demeanor; telling you a great deal. You need to know once & for all if this woman still wants your husband, therefore using his problems & need to talk as a way of pulling him back into her life. Seek marriage counseling, even if you have to go alone, that is if you want to save your marriage. And I think you do, else someone may have already ended up in jail by now! Good blessings, pray about it all, especially before you confront the woman. Your friend, Trishahearon