Hi Biff , I am extremely sorry you are having to go through this . Since you have decided to stay in the marriage , have you considered marriage counseling . You have your own mental and physical health to consider as well as the mental health of your children . They may not know the details but I would hazard to say they certainly know something is wrong with the stress , tension , hurt and anger you have towards your wife , all which I understand , am not blaming you for anything. She's betrayed your trust and once trust is gone it is very hard to get back . She is going to have to earn your trust by being completely open to you about her every move . And even with this you may never truly find peace of mind . May I ask some questions did she tell you of the affair or did you find out about it . This is important , is she sorry for the affair or just sorry she got caught . Will she be smarter the next time cover her tracks better , or is she truly ashamed of her behavior . Has she shown remorse has she promised never to do it again . She committed adultery , seeked the attention of another man , there is a reason for this , not blaming you . One never fixes problems in a relationship by going outside of the relationship , she should have come to you . Communication , trust , respect and loyality are the very foundation of a loving relationship . Your partner should never be the source of your pain , sorrow or anguish . She's done all three to you . Having said all this , in order for you to start to heal she needs to be honest and acknowledge that she is aware how much she has and is hurting you . You can't get the image of her and this man out of your mind , again normal and understandable . Perhaps some counseling will help you gain the tools to be able to start to deal with this . Again I am sorry , I feel for you and your children . God Bless All Of You .
