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How can Stacy (Who is in her 50’s) stop reading into what her mom (who is in her 80’s) says.  In other words how does she stop reading between the lines and take what is said at face value.  Give details when you answer.

A few examples of what her mom would say:
(1) Aren’t you going to be hot in that blouse.  It is going to be a hot summer day
(2) Well what you are wearing is not nice. I cant let you go out of the house like that”*she said this when they were fighting
(3) People should wear what is appropriate for the weather” she said this when Stacy said well what would happen if I wore a material that might not be cool for the summer

Stacy doesn’t take the comments at face value. She hears things that are not said.  For example
(1) Her mother does not think Stacy knows how to dress
(2) If Stacy’s mom doesn’t like an outfit Stacy is wearing then Stacy hears it as her mother hates how Stacy dresses all the time
(3) If Stacy wears a blouse that might be long sleeve on a hot day her mother will make her feel that it is in appropriate to wear.

But at the same time her mother will say:
(1) The clothes you have are gorgeous
(2) Stacy I just want to tell you one more thing if I like what I am wearing I don’t care what someone else says.  The only time I care is if I am not sure about the item of clothing

Then When Stacy said “Mom I can wear any material in any weather I don’t get hot”
Her mother said: “You see I cannot”  (her mother said this in a way I cant wear it but I admire that you can)

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These are typical examples of normal exchanges between a mother and daughter. I think that Stacy most likely has her own insecurities and it is easier for her to overreact and accuse her mother of saying the wrong things, than to take responsibility herself. Perhaps Stacy is projecting her own insecurities. Hopefully she will realize that her mother loves her and at her age, will most likely not change, and they can repair their relationship once and for all.


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