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Troubled Bisexual Lover

Hello, first of all sorry for my English since im not a native speaker.. im a 18 year old guy.. extremely sensitive and a day dreamer ..when i was 14 years old i had a bad crush on a girl.. and she was just not into me.. and because of lack of confidence i couldn't even talk to her.. it took me almost 2 and a half year to get over her.. but as soon as i got over her ..(here my problem starts) ..theres this cute lil guy in my class.. we actually live in the dorm.. so i started to like him.. i wanted to hand around with him and all.. as some time passed.. i just had this wish that i want to make him my best friend.. and i tried all possible things.. that resulted into us getting closer.. then we studies for the exams together ..during that time i found i had sexual desires for him.. i used to touch him randomly ..and then at night i used to masturbate dreaming about him.. that was big shock for me - since i never knew i was a Bi.. after that he went to his hometown for the vacations.. we used to talk online all the time.. and he used to tell me how badly he misses me.. and then when he got back to the university we were officially best friends.. all the time together.. until things started to complicate.. i wanted to stay with him - stick to him all the time.. and whenever he would talk to someone else i would get jealous and get upset thinking why doesn't he talk to me the way he talked with him and bla bla.. then we started to have tiny lil fights .. first he used to come up to me and say sorry or ask whats wrong.. then he stopped bothering about it.. and i was the one who used to go to him and start talking again.. and as time passed.. we moved far from each other.. i felt that his love for me or his likeness started to fade and he would stay with me just because he thought i would get upset if he doesn't ..the academic year ended.. in the vacation.. when he first got online.. he didn't talk to me properly ..but when time passed.. we became close again and used to have long nice conversations.. now it has been almost three weeks we're back to the university ..during the first week everything was good ..but as time passed.. i found changes in his attitude .. Now my problem is that i stay depressed, i feel insecure all the time, i get jealous of my other friends, i can't concentrate on anything, im thinking about him all the time, i've become clingy (and he doesn't like it) ..and im in need of desperate help.. i just want my brain to function normally so i can do my daily activities properly - im willing to take any medications as well ..one more thing.. im afraid of going to a doctor ..i live in an islamic state.. and it is forbidden to be Bisexual. PLEASE HELP!!


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102 helpful answers

Hi Xtremist,

I feel for you. You are in a really tough situation. The thing is, realisticaly, you have probably become too clingy and that has changed your relationship with this guy from a friend sort of relationship, to something that is making him very uncomfortable to be around you. As you said, you live in an Islamic state and this could play a big part in his discomfort. I know that it is a hard situation, and unfortunately there aren't any drugs out there that you can take to change how you feel. You are just going to have to make a choice as to how you want to live your life and go with it. Have you ever thought about leaving the country in which you live in? That would give you a lot more freedom in your personal life. Just a thought. As for this guy. You need to decide if you want him in your life as a friend or if you can't handle him only as a friend and therefore you decide to cut ties. I can't think of any other option. Really sorry.

 
39 helpful answers

Dear  Xtremist, There are drugs to help you and they are called antidepressants.  I believe you are very depressed for whatever reason.  They will make you feel much better about everything.  You need to go to a Doctor and just tell him you are depressed.  There is no reason to mention your sexuality at this point.  However, I do think you also need to get into some counseling if that is possible to deal with your sexual identity confusion.  As far as your friend goes, sorry, but sounds like it is time to cut ties.  He is just not that into you.  You need to work on your relationship with your self right now - increase your self-esteem and cultivate other healthy relationships that meet some of your needs.  Learn about healthy relationships and work on getting rid of that need to control in counseling and all of that will make you more attractive to a partner.  Good luck to you.

Posted 2009-11-12T11:47:19Z
Sassyjane was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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