Trouble with the in-laws

Ok I am newly married and my mother in law has caused a lot of problems in my marriage. My husband is to the point where he see's what she is doing and he called her out on a few things. She got mad and is placing the blame on me instead of taking responsibility for her own craziness. My husband told me that his entire life he had to do whatever she wanted him to do or she gave him a guilt trip and told him that he did not love her. She had him believing that his dad was a horrible person and he had done all of these awful things ( not true by the way) and she always wanted her children to make her the center of their world. My husband realizes now that in order to be happy and have a life of his own he has to get away from her. I want my husband to have a relationship with his mother, but he says that it is impossible because she will never stop causing problems. My husband has a younger brother and his mother has always done things to turn them against each other. For example she would tell my husband that his brother said mean and hurtful things to her and my husband would get mad at his brother, then she would tell the brother the same thing about my husband. Now that my husband has called her out on what she is doing he has not talked to her in over a month, in that time his brother has stopped having anything to do with him and me. The problem is before we were married my husbands brother was having a hard time and was about to lose his truck. My dad had given me ten thousand dollars as a present. I took one thousand dollars of that money and gave it to my soon to be husbands brother to help him out. I knew that he would not be able to pay me back and at the time I did not care, I felt that he was family and I wanted to help him. He never personally told me " thank You" or anything, he took the money and nothing else was said. Now he is in a postition where he could pay me back and due to the way Me and my husband have been treated I want every dime given back to me. My dad worked too hard to give me that money and I feel that my brother in law does not diserve it. I want it back!!!! Is that wrong of me??? am I just being mean and vendictive??


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Be anxious for nothing

I would not be concerned about whether it is wrong or mean. I would be more concerned about you having to carry that around with you the rest of your life. If I were you I would let it go, forever, and you and your husband let them go forever, and not feel bad about it. The desire to stay in touch with those we love no matter how negatively it can effect our lives is admirable. But it is obvious you and your husband play by different rules that they are never going to respect. Also, it is not necessary to communicate with those you love. Love knows no boundaries, not distance or time. To love some people in your heart only is better for them, than to curse them daily for the way they treat you. And you never know some day you may return and find different people who took time to think and change in your absence. There is no substitute for this kind of freedom, and dont feel guilty for enjoying it. Being a slave to other peoples unreasonable expectations is no kind of life, trust me.


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
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HelLo....

weLl fIrst of all of course YOu are NO beIng a venedIct persOn by doIng that. i woUld feeL the same thing if they would do that to me first of all if your brother in law would have said at least thank you maybe you wouldnt feel that way?? have YOu talked to your husband about this??


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